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Charles Mingus III

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the
president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he
 himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he
efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact
 extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the
country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the
 president or anyone else"

- Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States

palliate, v. tr.:  1. To make (an offense or crime) seem less serious;
extenuate.  2. To make less severe or intense; mitigate.  3. To relieve
the symptoms of a disease or disorder.

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... Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else? Tamim Ansary. The master
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BE Well BE HAPPY CM3 Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2003 08:44:08 -
          Some Links
 :Re: FYI?
The Future of Undersea Warfare - The Shape of Things to Come?
 The Future of Undersea Warfare - The Shape of Things to Come?


Exposed: The Carlyle Group: Shocking documentary uncovers the
subversion of Americas democracy.

 Re: FYI?


Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.  
          -- men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony that's life.  Trying to make ends meet,
you're a slave to money, then you die...  I can't change, I can't change.  
          -- the Verve, Bittersweet Symphony

'Technology' is 'things invented after I was born'.  
          -- Alan Kay

1. Don't be dumb and a butthead.  2. Don't do the bad thing with a horse.
          -- Megan Coughlin's House Rules

11:15 Restate my assumptions:  1. Mathematics is the language of nature.  
2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers.
3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge.  Therefore: There are
patterns everywhere in nature.  
          -- Pi
palliate, v. tr.:  1. To make (an offense or crime) seem less serious;
extenuate.  2. To make less severe or intense; mitigate.  3. To relieve
the symptoms of a disease or disorder.

A "no" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "yes"
merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.  
          -- Mahatma Ghandi

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.  
          -- Carl Sandburg

A bore talks about himself.  A brilliant conversationalist talks about
          -- Ernest Prabhakar

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to
suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.  
          -- Carl Sagan

A drowning man does not die silently.  
          -- Snake Eyes

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and sings it back
to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

A good question is never answered.  It is not a bolt to be tightened into
place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of
greening the landscape of the idea.  
          -- John Ciardi

A land without ruins is a land without memories - a land without memories
is a land without history.  
          -- Abram Joseph Ryan

A man of great memory without learning hath a rock and a spindle and no
staff to spin.  
          -- George Herbert

A meme is the simplest or smallest concept or idea that can be
communicated between two people.  If the concept is not simple or small,
it's not a meme, it's a culture.  
          -- Greg Bolcer

A newspaper should be the maximum of information and the minimum of
          -- Richard Cobden, 1804-1865

A person in search of a dream?  Maybe my new dream is to FIND a new
dream.  Maybe my new goal IS to find a new goal, since I have this
lifewish that sticks me wandering on this planet for another 50 or 60
years.  Every day brings me a little closer to dreaming a new dream.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

A retentive memory is a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true
token of greatness.  
          -- Elbert Hubbard

A security system is only as secure as its secret.  Beware of
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

A store tomato is a tease.  It gives the false impression it is a tomato,
getting your hopes up and then breaking your heart because it isn't even
remotely what a normal person would call a tomato.  A home potato and a
store potato are the difference between great and good.  A home tomato and
a store tomato are the difference between good and evil.  
          -- Bill Hall, Lewiston, Idaho Tribune, May 13, 1998

A successful technology creates problems only it can solve.  
          -- Alan Kay

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time,
and a courageous person afterwards.  
          -- Jean Paul Richter

A writer is like a bag lady going through life with a sack and a pointed
stick collecting stuff.  
          -- Tony Hillerman

Adam Rifkin squandered his life on entertaining himself through movies,
books, music, and alcohol.  Squandered?  That sounds like a pretty darn
good way to live to me...  
          -- John Dobbin

Adam's help didn't move the column along one iota further.  But I did get
to excoriate him all night long over the bad press I was taking on FoRK as
a weight-obsessed sexist maniac.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Adobe turned it's back on the Mac market (Adobe was so arrogant about
this that they would go to Mac shows and demo their software on PC's),
released a shitty upgrade for Illustrator, and kissed Microsoft's ass.  
This is what they got for their efforts.  
          -- Tim Byars

Adumbration, n.:  A sketchy representation or outline.

Agony: Not all pain is gain.  
          -- www.despair.com

Ah ha!  Finally that failure to follow instructions comes back to bite
you in the butt.  
          -- John Dobbin

Ah, argument by profanity.  Very persuasive.  
          -- Joe Barrera

Aim to be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are
          -- Warren Buffett

All I want, to be able to do what I want to do, whenever I want to do it,
with whomever I want to do it with and be able to afford it!     I can!...
     While money isn't an end itself, it gives one the freedom from most
other things.  
          -- Dave Naas

Also, I'm pretty sure the guy who was accepting foreign language film did
not accidentally call his country "Bell Jam."  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Americans take much more kindly to a president with blood on his hands
than we do to one with other bodily fluids on a dress.

And Rohit, once you become the emotional tampon to one, you get to listen
to every f-ing detail.  
          -- Adam Rifkin
And so, standing before [the parson], the two swore that at every other
time of their lives till death took them, they would assuredly believe,
feel, and desire precisely as they had believed, felt, and desired during
the few preceding weeks.  What was as remarkable as the undertaking itself
was the fact that nobody seemed at all surprised at what they swore.  
          -- Thomas Hardy, _Jude the Obscure_

And the man in the suit has just bought a new car with the profit he made
on your dreams...  
          -- Traffic, Low Spark of High Heeled Boys

Anomalous, adj.:  1. Deviating from the normal or common order, form, or
rule.  2. Equivocal, as in classification or nature.

Another of my favorite internal paradoxes: Don't ask anyone out because
they're surely taken, but if they're not taken don't ask them out because
there must be something wrong with her.  
          -- John Dobbin

Another way of expressing the same idea is to say that the user views the
system as a 'virtual uniprocessor', not as a collection of distinct
machines.  This is easier said than done.  
          -- Tanenbaum and van Renesse, Computing Surveys v17n4

Any nitwit can understand computers.  Many do.  
          -- Ted Nelson

Any real progress takes time and patience and effort.  You are making
real strides.  Don't curse yourself because you're not yet where you want
to be; praise yourself that you are on the right path to get there.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

Any tool should be useful in the expected way, but a *great* tool lends
itself to uses you never expected.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Any verbose and tedious solution is error-prone because programmers get
          -- Bjarne Stroustrup

Anything but history, for history must be false.  
          -- Sir Robert Walpole

Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.  
          -- www.despair.com

Apocalipstick, n.:  What your wife found on your shirt collar just before
she kicked you out of the house.

Are the Amish really known for their noodles?  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Are you ready?  Are you ready for this?  Are you hanging on the edge of
your seat?  Out of the doorway, the bullets rip...  
          -- Queen

Art doesn't have to match the couch.  
          -- Penny Pennington

As an economist, I refuse to believe in your altruism.  There's some
double-ledger accounting going on here, but you're definitely getting
SOMETHING in return for your selflessness.  
          -- Rohit Khare

As in life nothing is perfect, wanna keep this little motherfucking OS
jihad going?  
          -- Tim Byars

As ocean depth increases, temperature decreases.  The speed of sound
decreases to a certain depth, then increases, offsetting the temperature
decrease, until equilibrium is established and nothing has changed.  In
this way, ocean depth is much like political or economic progress.  Much
changes for a while, but in the long run, everything is the same and
you're in a little deeper.  
          -- Dr. Science

As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the
animals are mindless superstition and pointless ritual.  
          -- Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman), Taxi

Ask me what is on the bracelet I wear on my right wrist next time you see
me, and I'll make the appropriate noises.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

At night I went out into the dark and I saw a glimmering star and heard a
frog and Nature seemed to say, Well do not these suffice?  
          -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

At the IFIP congress in 1971, I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Eiichi
Goto of Japan, who cheerfully complained that he was always being
          -- Donald E. Knuth, Structured Programming with Go To Statements

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

Back off, Grammar Nazi.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Baudrillard treated the ideas of Marx, Freud and Nietzsche with much the
same attitude that J.G. Ballard's characters brought to automobiles.  They
were sexiest when accelerated to high speeds and brought into collision.  
          -- Scott McLemee

Be strong and of a good courage.  Act for the best, hope for the best and
take what comes... If death ends all, we cannot meet death better.  
          -- Fitzjames Stephen, 1874

Beauty is only a light switch away.  
          -- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina

Because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to
live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same
time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn,
burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the
          -- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Been around the world and found that only stupid people were breeding,
the cretins cloning and feeding, and I don't even own a TV.  
          -- Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta

Before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That
way, when you criticize them, you've got a mile-long head start... and you
have their shoes.  
          -- The Lion

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  
That way, when you criticize them... you are a mile away AND you have
their shoes.

Being functional takes intelligence, but nobody ever seems to give credit
for it.  
          -- John Dobbin

Between stimulus and response there is decision.  
          -- George X. Torres

Bill Clinton has got no choice but to continue to lie.  
          -- Rush Limbaugh

Birthquake, n.:  A term to describe a woman's contractions during labor.

Bitmaps aren't scalable, right?  You can't do anything with them.  
They're nonsensical.  Bitmaps are not graphics; they're the display result
of graphics.  You can't express graphics in dots, and a bitmap does not
have a metric.  It has no meaning.  
          -- Robert Cailliau

Blarney, n.:  1. Smooth, flattering talk.  2. Deceptive nonsense. [ After
the Blarney  Stone in Blarney Castle, Blarney, Ireland]

Bolcer's First Corollary to Godwin's Law:  Any Internet discussion
containing more than 3 replies will converge on the topic of sex or death
97% of the time.

Bolcer's Second Corollary to Godwin's Law:  Any graduate student facing
the task of writing his or her thesis will participate in Internet
discussions as a means of avoidance, procrastination, or both,
particularly if their advisor is a Nazi.

Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, a
cistern full of chanel number five, and a flunky handing me pieces of raw
silk toilet roll.  
          -- Trainspotting

But be sure that I'll be there to help you make it through, 'cause I'd
sure love to be there looking back with you.  
          -- Grey Eye Glances, "Snow"

But, as is usual for simulation studies, the methods we will use are of
much more interest than the answers given by the program.  
          -- Donald E. Knuth, Art of Computer Programming 1

By temperament, which is the real law of God, many men are goats and
can't help committing adultery when they get a chance; whereas there are
numbers of men who, by temperament, can keep their purity and let an
opportunity go by if the woman lacks in attractiveness.  
          -- Mark Twain, from Letters from the Earth

By the end of the day I was convinced that the public consisted entirely
of raging idiots.  (This is the fundamental underlying assumption of
          -- Dave Barry

By the way, you know when you're telling these little stories?  Here's a
good idea.  Have a point.  It makes it so much more interesting for the
          -- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Can't have you accusing innnocent bunnies without cause.  Though you
don't sound truly sorry.  
          -- John Dobbin

Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.  
          -- Tao Te Ching

Cherry blossoms fall.  Cherry blossoms fall and fall.  Cherry blossoms
          -- Lloyd Wood

Chimeric, adj.:  1. Created by or as if by a wildly fanciful imagination;
highly improbable.  2. Given to unrealistic fantasies; fanciful.

Choose life.  Choose a job.  Choose a career.  Choose a family.  Choose a
fucking big television.  Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc
players and electrical tin openers...choose DIY and wondering who the fuck
you are on a Sunday morning.  Choose sitting on that couch watching
mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your
mouth.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a
miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked
up brats you spawned to replace yourself.  Choose a future.  Choose
life...  But why would I want to do a thing like that?  
          -- Trainspotting

Civilization is revving itself into a pathologically short attention
span.  The trend might be coming from the acceleration of technology, the
short-horizon perspective of market-driven economics, the next-election
perspective of democracies, or the distractions of personal multi-tasking.
All are on the increase.  
          -- www.longnow.org

Clarity is my curse.  
          -- John Dobbin

Cleave ever to the sunnier side of doubt.  
          -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, The Ancient Sage

Cogno-intellectual?  What a truly awful word.  In a cogno-intellectual
way of course.  
          -- John Dobbin

Colophon: this post was written at LAX, inflight to ORD, at ORD, inflight
BWI-DEN, at DEN, and inflight DEN-LAX (and Toi's).  I need a longer
          -- Rohit Khare

Come, and take choice of all my library, and so beguile thy sorrow.  
          -- Titus Andronicus [IV.i.34]

Come, and take choice of all my library, and so beguile thy sorrow.  
          -- Titus Andronicus [IV.i.34]

Comics are like gossamer, and you don't dissect gossamer.   
          -- The New Yorker editor on Seinfeld

Conslutant, n.:  A consultant who will do anything for anybody... for a fee.

Crambo, n.:  Watching a Stallone movie a dozen times in a week.

Creative breakthroughs are experiential.  They don't come from
intellectual analysis.  
          -- Lucia Capacchione

Creativity is the juxtaposition of formerly unrelated ideas to product
new ideas.  
          -- The Journal of NIH Research

Cynosure, n.:  1. An object that serves as a focal point of attention and
admiration.  2. Something that serves to guide.

          -- Top 5

Dear John, Don't be hard on yourself.  Give yourself a break.  Life
wasn't meant to be run.  The race is over.  You won.  
          -- John Lennon, Dear John

Dear prudence, won't you come out to play?  Dear prudence, open up your
eyes.  Dear prudence, see the sunny skies.  The wind is low, the birds
will sing, that you are part of everything.  
          -- the Beatles

Death before decaf!

Debugging is parallelizable.  
          -- Jeff Dutky

Defeat: For every winner, there are dozens of losers.  Odds are, you're
one of them.  
          -- www.despair.com

Denervate, v. tr. Medicine:  1. To deprive (an organ or body part) of a
nerve supply, as by surgically removing or cutting a nerve or by blocking
a nerve connection with drugs.

Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me
to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound
two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don't
fight destiny, no sir!  And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your
future or you get all... scratchy.  
          -- The Tick

Dialectic, n.:  1. The art or practice of arriving at the truth by the
exchange of logical arguments.  2. a. The process especially associated
with Hegel of arriving at the truth by stating a thesis, developing a
contradictory antithesis, and combining and resolving them into a coherent
synthesis. b. Hegel's critical method for the investigation of this

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's
how dogs spend their lives.  
          -- Sue Murphy

Didactic, adj.:  1. Intended to instruct.  2. Morally instructive.  3.
Inclined to teach or moralize excessively.

Didn't I know how it would go?  If I knew from the start, why am I
falling apart?  
          -- Chess

Digital information lasts forever... or five years, whichever comes
          -- Jeff Rotherberg

Distributed operating systems have many aspects in common with
centralized ones, but also differ in certain ways.  
          -- Tanenbaum and van Renesse, Computing Surveys v17n4

Do I know you from somewhere?  Why do you leave me wanting more?  Why do
all the things I say sound like the stupid things I said before?  
          -- Madonna

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.  
          -- Elbert Hubbard

Do what you love, love what you do.  
          -- Allen Newell

Do you like apples?  "Sure."  Well, I got her number.  How do you like
*DEM* apples?  
          -- Good Will Hunting

Don't go lookin' for snakes; you might find them.  
          -- Metallica

Don't have to prove anything.  I just put it out there and retract it
after the damage is done.  Have you not been paying attention to the way
the world works?  
          -- John Dobbin

Don't hesitate to throw away superannuated features when you can do it
without loss of effectiveness.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.  
          -- men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Don't you think it bothers me that I'm this shallow?  
          -- Steven Bondi

Dvorak is no better than QWERTY.  The studies made in the army were not
controlled.  And also, you're looking at the performance of the average,
not the performance of the expert.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Ekistics, n. used with a singular verb:  The science of human
settlements, including city or community planning and design.

Empirical research has shown that quality tends to the be consequence of
quantity when it comes to creativity...Those who produce more master-works
also produce more rubbish.  
          -- Keith Simonton

Entresol, n.:  The floor just above the ground floor of a building; a

Epexegesis, n.:  Additional explanation or explanatory material.

Epochodor, n.:  The smell of history found at museums.

Error is the stuff of which the web of life is woven; and he who lives
longest and wisest is only able to wear out the more of it.  
          -- Thomas Jefferson, cited by Dumas Malone in his biography of

Estoppel, n. Law:  A rule of evidence preventing one from making an
allegation or a denial that contradicts what one has previously stated as
the truth.

Even The New York Times uses [the word] Seinfeldian!  It's the next best
thing to Seinfeldesque.  Actually, I prefer Seinfeldian.  
          -- Jerry Seinfeld, to Entertainment Weekly

Even scarier than doritos in a can... Doritos 3-D!  I'm not sure I
approve of this innovation.  They don't even taste as good as good ol' 2-D
          -- Megan Coughlin

Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer's personal
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Every little event is like a pebble in the water that ripples outward and
touches places the pebble never could.  One set of friends started
examining their OWN lives long after discussion of you or me had left the
          -- Adam Rifkin

Every man's memory is his private literature.  
          -- Aldous Huxley

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.  
          -- Semisonic

Every problem will be transparent to somebody.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.  
          -- Will Rogers

Experience teaches that a strong memory is generally joined to a weak
          -- Michel de Montaigne

Express Lane: Five beers or less.  
          -- sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, Arizona

Face definitely matters.  When I'm objectifying men, that is.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Failure: When your best just isn't good enough.  
          -- www.despair.com

Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history.  
          -- Abraham Lincoln

Fenfluramine (the part of fen-phen you're thinking of) is no mere SSRI.  
It's a serotonin releaser: it makes neurons ejaculate their serotonin in
an insane orgy of exocytosis.  
          -- David H. Eden

Fine-grained decomposition of code as per the "objects all the way"
philosophers actually *inhibits* code reuse by increasing interface
surface area and dependencies.  
          -- Jeff Bone

Five bucks says if I dropped another million in Ralph's and Uma's bank
accounts I could get them to beat the crap out of some Lupus orphans.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

FoRK is nothing more than high tech Pro Wrestling.  And Pro Wrestling is
an extrapolation of the society in which we live.  
          -- Tim Byars

Folks didn't need background checks, scantron questionnaires, and
recorded greetings when the process was mediated by relatives who actually
*knew* (and vouched for) the would-be lovers.  
          -- Ari Rapkin

For a Twilight Zone sort of treat, checkout Celebration Florida.  It's an
actual city constructed by the Disney folks.  It has this eerie Stepford
sort of feel to it, with just a hint of Logan's Run mixed in.  It seems
like it was some sort of experiment in happiness gone awry.  It's a sort
of forced perfection quality that's kind of hard to explain.  
          -- Megan's friend Chuck

For better and worse, today's Internet is a vast, teeming commons on
which buggy technological innovations, experimental business plans, fringe
political movements and evanescent pop-culture trends are all emerging,
converging and mutating.  
          -- Salon

For the last five years we have been in a new industrial era in this
country.  We are making progess industrially and economically not by leaps
and bounds, but on a perfectly heroic scale.  
          -- Forbes magazine, June 1929

Freaks are people too.  
          -- John Dobbin on what he's learned from Jerry Springer

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no
survival value: rather it is one of those things that give value to
          -- C.S. Lewis

From now on, I'd like you to refer to women as "Internal-Americans."  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Futility: You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and,
statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.  
          -- www.despair.com

George Costanza: If 95% of the population is undateable, then how are all
these people getting together?  Jerry Seinfeld: Alcohol.  
          -- Seinfeld

George: You don't have a replacement for ME lined up, do you?  Jerry:
[silent...] [sips coffee...]  
          -- Seinfeld

Ginger or Mary Anne?  Ginger was a bimbo.

Give them Win98.  They deserve it.  
          -- Tim Byars

Given a large enough beta-tester and co-developer base, almost every
problem will be characterized quickly and the fix obvious to someone.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around,
I'd rather lie around.  No contest.  
          -- Eric Clapton

God cannot alter the past, but historians can.  
          -- Samuel Butler

Godwin's Law of Nazi Analogies:  As an online discussion grows longer,
the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Good programmers know what to write.  Great ones know what to rewrite
(and reuse).  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Gordon's Restatement of Newman's Corollary to Godwin's Law:  
Libertarianism (pro, con, and internal faction fights) is the primordial
net.news discussion topic.  Any time the debate shifts somewhere else, it
must eventually return to this fuel source.

Got to find a reason why the money's all gone.  
          -- Sublime

Great minds discuss ideas.  Average minds discuss events.  Small minds
discuss people.  
          -- Ernest Prabhakar

Great seas cannot extinguish love, no river can sweep it away.  
          -- from The Song of Songs (8:6-7)

H.H. Goddard in the 1920s coined the word 'moron' to designate 'high
grade' mental defects.  Delineating these people by slightly subaverage
scores on primitive IQ tests, Goddard judged them to be more dangerous
than obvious idiots because their gene pool might proliferate.  Goddard
favored keeping 'morons' happily segregated in colonies where they could
be prevented from breeding.  
          -- Jeffrey Klein, Mother Jones magazine, May/June 1998, page 3

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:  Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress
her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her,
hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her,
listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of
the earth for her....  HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:  Show up naked.

Haiku is pointless.  Culturally obnoxious.  Complete waste of time.  
          -- Lloyd Wood

Happy the people whose annals are blank in history-books.  
          -- Thomas Carlyle

Happy:  I'm stupid, you're smart.  I was wrong, you were right.  You're
the best, I'm the worst.  You're very good looking, I'm not very
attractive.  Chubbs:  All right.  As long as you're willing to admit that
          -- Happy Gilmore

Has she ever forgiven you?  Her eyes say, "Maybe," but the lighter fluid
in your hair and the match in her hand say, "Not really."  
          -- Top 5

Have him watch Springer.  Remind himself that these idiots are lusted
after.  Works for me...  
          -- John Dobbin

Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you,
"There's a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for

Having been brought up in a serf-owner's family, I entered active life,
like all young men of my time, with a great deal of confidence in the
necessity of commanding, ordering, scolding, punishing and the like.  But
when, at an early stage, I had to manage serious enterprises and to deal
with [free] men, and when each mistake would lead at once to heavy
consequences, I began to appreciate the difference between acting on the
principle of command and discipline and acting on the principle of common
understanding.  The former works admirably in a military parade, but it is
worth nothing where real life is concerned, and the aim can be achieved
only through the severe effort of many converging wills.  
          -- 19th-century Russian anarchist Kropotkin, Memoirs of a

He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed
so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it.  
          -- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

He who knows nothing, loves nothing.  He who can do nothing, understands
nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless.  But he who understands
also loves, notices, sees...  The more knowledge is inherent in a thing,
the greater the love...  Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the
same time as the strawberries knows nothing about the grapes.  
          -- Paracelsus

Her only explanation for why I called my giraffe "Whhh-horsey" is, "This
is the same child whose imaginary friends were Tammy, Piggy, and Fork."  
          -- Megan Coughlin's mother (a psychologist) explains her child's

Hey John, Adam said we could package up all the brilliant things we've
said in the last several months and send them to him for inclusion in
msglist.  He trusts us.  Bwah hah hah hah!  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Hey, Adam, these little girls were having a birthday party at the Queen
Mary the other day, and they all had Princess Cake!  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Hey, hey, hey.  Don't be mean.  We don't have to be mean because,
remember, no matter where you go, there you are.  
          -- The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Hey, think of all the money I save Mankind by not going out with anyone.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

His struggle is man's...  He is a loathesome, offensive brute, yet I
can't look away.  
          -- pretentious art patrons' reactions to Kramer's canvas
visage,on Seinfeld

History is bunk.  
          -- Henry Ford

History is little more than the register of the crimes, follies and
misfortunes of mankind.  
          -- Edward Gibbon

History is on our side (as long as we can control the historians).  
          -- Unknown

History repeats itself, and that's one of the things that's wrong with
          -- Clarence Darrow

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have
exhausted all other alternatives.  
          -- Abba Eban

Hmmm.  Rif Coogan.  Adam RIFkin.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked
when someone threw a gun at him?

How do you know I don't have a Big House?  
          -- Sports Night

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of
the weak and strong.  Because someday in your life you will have been all
of these.  
          -- George Washington Carver

How many fairly grievous lies had I told?  How many moral lapses had I
committed?  How many ethical breaches had I fallen into?  
          -- Michael Wolff

How the heck do you clean up a bathtub full of jello?  
          -- John Dobbin

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and
          -- H.G. Wells

I actually enjoy arguing with idiots.  It tends to free me from the
constraints of having to support my arguments.  
          -- John Dobbin

I always love reading this stuff, but I really don't want to live in a
world where Soccer is that important...  
          -- John Dobbin

I am a bomb technician.  If you see me running, try and keep up!  
          -- Mike Noonan, Albuquerque, NM

I am a poster girl without a poster.  I am 32 flavors and then some.  
          -- Ani DiFranco

I am an object at rest, flowing down through the point of least
resistance time and time again, waiting for the next nexus of least
resistance to present itself and let me through.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls.  They always say
because it's such a beautiful animal.  There you go.  I think my mother is
attractive, but I have photographs of her.  
          -- Ellen DeGeneres

I begged somebody to jam a nail gun into my ear and end the agony by
firing away like Charlton Heston at a Barney Frank fund-raiser.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

I believe man will not merely endure; he will prevail.  He is immortal,
not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but
because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and
endurance.  The poet's, the writer's duty is to write about these things.  
It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding
him of the courage and honour and hope and pride and compassion and pity
and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past.  The poet's voice
need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the
pillars to help him endure and prevail.  
          -- William Faulkner, from his acceptance speech for the Nobel
Prize for literature, 1949

I bet squirrel tales would be sort of cool to bite.  If I were a duck.  
          -- John Dobbin

I can ALWAYS build faster code if it doesn't have to work.

I can buy 20 percent of you, or I can buy all of you, or I can go into
this business myself and bury you.  
          -- Bill Gates to AOL's Steve Case

I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment
every 10 minutes to pore over the excruciating minutiae of every single
daily event!  
          -- Elaine Benes to Jerry Seinfeld, 8 years into the show

I can't think of a single lite version of any product that has ever
succeeded.  It may be inelegant and sluglike, but bloatware sells.  
          -- Jeffrey Tartar, Computerworld 8/10/98

I care.  I also wish I had 30 hours in a day.  
          -- Rohit Khare

I don't believe in hell.  More importantly, I don't believe that anything
I've done qualifies me to burn in the hell I don't believe in.  
          -- John Dobbin

I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the mail.  That's for sure.  
I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment.  Too ill to sleep.  Too tired to
stay awake, but the sickness is on it's way.  Sweat, chills, nausea.  Pain
and craving.  A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold
of me.  It's on it's way.  
          -- Trainspotting

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to
please everybody.  
          -- Bill Cosby

I don't want to admit it, I can't bring myself to admit it, but you're

I get outraged at the world.  I get outraged by that virus called Disney
that is settling so comfortably over the world.  
          -- artist Maurice Sendak, author of acclaimed children's books
including _Where the Wild Things Are_, on the Disney Company view of the
world as theme park and money machine

I hate people... And when I say I hate people, I count myself.  I haven't
done anything drastic to change the world.  
          -- Cameron Diaz, USA Today 7/30/98

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve.  I have a history of
losing my shirt.  
          -- Barenaked Ladies

I hear words and clips and phrases.  I think sick like ginger ale.  My
stomach turns and I exhale.  
          -- Eve 6, Inside Out

I hear you use your umbrella as a screen saver.  
          -- Grlygrl201@aol.com

I hope he states that the conception of marriage.  The faithful,
monogamous part is out dated.  That marriage as a partership is intact,
marriage as a ball and chain is not.  
          -- Tim Byars

I hope your life is like a roll of toilet paper.  Long and useful.

I just finished a book on levitation.  I couldn't put it down!

I just like the idea of "plea-ing" "wreckless" driving. "Yes, officer, I
was speeding, but it was wreckless!"  
          -- Megan Coughlin

I know what it feels like to have your hormones pulling you in 1000
          -- Armageddon

I learned a long time ago that if you can't spot the pigeon in a poker
game, then you're probably it.  
          -- Dr. Dective Alex Cross in _Jack and Jill_  by James Patterson

I like my sugar with coffee and cream.  
          -- Beastie Boys

I like rules.  Rules are good.  
          -- John Dobbin

I like that you managed to reply to 400K of email in 15 lines...  
          -- John Dobbin

I make no distinction between truth and good bullshit.  What do you think
philosophy is?  Immanuel Kant and the inevitability of the well.  What IS
that?  It's just a notion.  It's a piece of bullshit.  
          -- Jerry Seinfeld, in Rolling Stone 5/28/98

I miss Gold, but Im not sure if I miss VMS. It haunts me at work, one
machine in a sea of unix boxes I work with.  Of course these unix machines
sit in a sea of pc's running evil operating systems like Windows NT, or
worse IBM Mainframe connectivity stuff.  Death to microsoft...  
          -- Josh Cohen

I must admit that I find television very educational.  The minute
somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.  
          -- Groucho Marx

I plan to start redefining words more often to make things mean what I
want them to mean.  If "redefining words" means sitting in traffic for 40
minutes, then I redefine words twice a day.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish.  The wicked sometimes rest.  
          -- Alexandre Dumas Pere

I refuse to allow facts to cloud my argument.  
          -- John Dobbin

I suppose I'll get in a game of Caterpillar...  
          -- Michelle Gardner

I suppose hating bunnies is just completely evil.  
          -- John Dobbin

I think Santa needs a fifth of scotch.  
          -- Jay Leno

I think it is not critical that the coordinator be able to originate
designs of exceptional brilliance, but it is absolutely critical that
he/she be able to recognize good design ideas from others.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

I think they're blaming the cat.  
          -- the bunnies' theory about why Megan Coughlin now have a

I think you have the rudaments of a soul.  You will not discover it until
sorrow separates you from all artifice.  Break down the false in your life
and use the rubble to build something real.  
          -- Ann Marie Clark

I told my girlfriend I've got money to burn and she said, "Well, I've got
the matches."

I wanna publish zines, and rage against machines; I wanna pierce my
tongue, it doesn't hurt, it feels fine.  
          -- Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta
I want electron microscope photos and coefficient of friction plots and
          -- A. Scott Bachmeier

I want to pull my arms into me when they aren't in use.  
          -- John Dobbin

I was going to invoke Godwin's Law, but some Nazi beat me to it.  
          -- Wayne Baisley

I was trying to make him feel good this morning about being a 140 pound
malamute that hunted field mice the size of dust balls, but all I could
come up with was, "you're the greatest mouser since... some cat."  
          -- Anne-Corinne Kell

I was worried that it wouldn't be suckful enough. I tried it out,
however, and it is perfectly sucky.  
          -- Megan Coughlin loves her new vacuum

I went out for dinner wearing new shoes.  I couldn't eat at this once
place, though.  They had a sign that said, "Shirt and shoes must be worn."

I went to a BMW dealership the other day, and learned a lot about BMWs,
but none of the salesmen there seemed to know much about Audis.  It was
really kind of strange.  I guess they really just don't understand
automobiles, or the automobile market in general.  
          -- Joe Barrera

I will keep working until about five years after I die, and I've given
the directors a Ouija board so they can keep in touch.  
          -- Warren Buffett

I wish I had your idealism and optimism.  I expect to die bitter and
penniless in a gutter, having hocked my last few CDs for a wicked 8ball
concoction of heroin, valium, speed, crack, caffeine, nicotine, percodan,
mandrax, NyQuil, marijuana, dilaudid, methadone, blue label,
methamphetamine, tequila, and rum, with a pickax in one hand and a nuclear
warhead in the other.  Compared to that, *anything* seems like the good
          -- Adam Rifkin

I wonder how much time in my life I've spent typing a second space after
every period as I write.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

I wonder what it's like to be a superhero... I wish the real world would
just stop hassling me.  
          -- Matchbox 20

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something
          -- Lily Tomlin

I would compare writing Seinfeld to writing the Talmud - a dark Talmud.  
You have a lot of brilliant minds examining a thought or ethical question
from every possible angle.  
          -- Larry David, in Entertainment Weekly

I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rhines, but the lack
thereof would leave me empty inside.  I would swallow my doubt, turn it
inside out, find nothing but faith in nothing.  Want to put my tender
heart in a blender, watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion.  
Rendezvous then I'm through with you.  
          -- Eve 6, Inside Out

I wouldn't have thought of this given near infinite time to think.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'd argue that Presidential sex partners who weren't complete morons
could have avoided this whole thing.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'd never heard of the Cocos Islands before (and I'm guessing this is the
last I hear of them).  Is it just me, or does 670 people in 14 square
miles seem like it might be sort of crowded?  
          -- John Dobbin

I'd rather be a well-tuned soul with a dysfunctional agent than a
dysfunctional soul with a well-tuned agent!  
          -- Henrik Frystyk Nielsen

I'll stir fry you in my wok.  
          -- Beastie Boys

I'm a little ashamed that I've been stockpiling food a little at a time.  
Not because I'm truly worried, but because there's just something cool
about having lots of cans in the house.  So if the world collapses, get in
your cars and come see me.  We'll frolic by day and eat spaghettios by
night.  It'll be fun.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'm a people person, you idiot.  Like I care.  
          -- Jay Leno

I'm aloof, I like to run around outside, but I also like to curl up in
warm spots.  I eat fish.  
          -- Megan Coughlin on why she'd make a good cat

I'm at that awkward age.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'm encouraging the rest of you to develop my somewhat erratic mental
filing system.  It's all part of the master plan.  I teach you, you teach
others.  Consider yourselves my disciples.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'm just trying to plan my day.  
          -- Playing God

I'm not sick, but I'm not well.  And I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell.  
          -- Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta

I'm not sure what tickets cost, but this is soccer.  Nothing ever costs
very much. If you think you'd enjoy it (And why wouldn't you?  Cute guys
running around in shorts!) and can come then I'll pick you up a ticket.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'm not worried about being ignored, because I know in the long term
ignoring me is unsustainable.  
          -- Rohit Khare

I'm still haunted by Llamosa's nipple.  
          -- John Dobbin

I'm the best there ever was, the best there is, and the best there ever
will be.  
          -- Bret The Hitman Hart

I'm the only one who laughs during meetings when people use industry
          -- Megan Coughlin

I'm your candy perfume girl.  
          -- Madonna

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.  
          -- Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge,

I've done something with my life; I've made kids happy around the world.  
          -- Walter E. Diemer (1905-1998), inventor of bubble gum

I've seen [U.S. intelligence agencies] from the inside.  They will suffer
under the weight of their own ineptitude.  
          -- John Perry Barlow

I.D.I.C. (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations) - a Vulcan's
deepest belief that beauty, growth, and progress all result from the union
of the unlike; and the glory of creation is in its infinite diversity and
in the way our differences combine to differences combine to create
meaning and beauty.  
          -- Newton Lee

If I had a dollar for every unfinished thought...  
          -- Adam Rifkin

If I had been born some time ago I would've been some animal's lunch.  
          -- Warren Buffett

If I quit now, they win.  
          -- X-Files: The Movie

If Rohit told you to jump off a bridge, would you?  Wait, don't answer
          -- John Dobbin

If everything on television is, without exception, part of a low-calorie
(or even no-calorie) diet, then what good is it complaining about the
adverts?  By their worthlessness, they at least help to make the
programmes around them seem of a higher level.  
          -- Jean Baudrillard, Utopia Achieved

If it was only a 3 hour tour, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?

If it's selfish to eat grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, then yes,
I've been quite selfish lately.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all
get wasted together and have the time of our lives.  
          -- Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

If life were easy, it wouldn't be worth living.  I believe that it's only
through adversity, suffering, and hardship that we truly learn.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

If life were predictable, it would cease to be life, and be without
          -- Eleanor Roosevelt

If one of these Upper Paleolithic guys killed a mammoth, and occasionally
they did, they probably didn't stop talking about it for ten years.  
          -- Olga Soffer, on what is now believed about Ice Age life

If people can sue the tobacco companies because they chose to smoke
cigarettes, could I sue the credit card companies for letting me get
deeply in debt?

If such a blatent, grauitous, and sinful celebration of violence and
anti-social behavior should offend you, we suggest the following:  1. Go
f*** yourself.  2. Go f*** yourself again.  
          -- disclaimer, xevil.com

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.  
          -- Professor Irwin Corey

If we have a fantastic Internet and Java platform that also happens to
run core productivity applications like Microsoft Office, we've got
something pretty interesting.  
          -- Steve Jobs to Fortune, 11/98

If you are completely and self-deprecatingly truthful about how much you
owe other people, the world at large will treat you like you did every bit
of the invention yourself and are just being becomingly modest about your
innate genius.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

If you cannot be free, be as free as you can.  
          -- Scent of the Roses

If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken.  
          -- Microsoft ad slogan, translated into Japanese

If you don't like someone, the way he holds his spoon makes you furious;
if you like him, he can turn his plate over into your lap and you won't
          -- Irving Becker

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video
camera and come help me.  
          -- Bobcat Goldthwait

If you have the right attitude, interesting problems will find you.  When
you lose interest in a program, your last duty to it is to hand it off to
a competent successor.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar
If you have to keep reminding yourself of a thing, perhaps it isn't so.
          -- Christopher Morley

If you look at my earliest papers, they always emphasized coexistence and
transition. But people just won't listen.  People are so keen on one
language that they forget that the world is much too complex for that.  
          -- Bjarne Stroustrup

If you never step over the line, you'll never find out where it is.

If you take the bull by the horns, then what?

If you took all the world's politicians, and put them in a long line
around the equator, then that would be kinda cool.  
          -- C Lund
If you treat your beta-testers as if they're your most valuable
resource, they will respond by becoming your most valuable resource.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump
here.  Your asshole is in Washington.  
          -- men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of
something for somebody, you'll end up not doing anything for anybody.  
          -- Malcolm Bane

If you watched Last Days Of Disco, Bulworth, and then The Truman Show,
you would have a fairly literate deconstruction and commentary of society
in the late 20th century- at least as valid as the comments made by Plato,
Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald or Dante.  
          -- Richard Goodman

If you're into evil, you're a friend of mine.  
          -- AC/DC

If you're not making waves, you're not underway.  
          -- Adm. Nimitz

If you're working class, that's not necessarily something to be ashamed
of.  You probably have less to worry about anyway, other than how you're
going to pay the bills and put food on the table.  
          -- Tamara Beckwith, 20-something British heiress and socialite

If your "solution" to the two-body problem is a long-distance
relationship:  Brains, Trains, and Automobiles.

Illegal drugs, fire arms, bomb making materials, lewd and obscene
pornographic material...  
          -- Tim Byars

Immanent, adj.:  1. Remaining or operating within a domain of reality or
realm of discourse: INHERENT.  2. Confined to consciousness or to the

In 1975 John Erlichmann was convicted of perjury, obstruction of justice
and conspiracy. Back when those things were still crimes.  
          -- Jon Stewart

In anything at all [especially design], perfection is achieved not when
there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to
take away.  
          -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

In cyberspace, everyone is an author, which means that no one is an
author: the distinction upon which its rest, the author distinct from the
reader, disappears.  Exit author...  
          -- Benjamin Woolley, Virtual Worlds - A journey in hype and

In later life, as in earlier, only a few persons influence the formation
of our character; the multitude pass us by like a distant army.  
          -- Jean Paul Richter

In our society we have hard nerds and soft nerds.   The hard nerds are
the ones who used to have the slide rules at their belt; now they have
calculators.  The soft nerds are the ones who get violently ill whenever
anybody mentions an integral sign.  
          -- Alan Kay

In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but
planning is indispensable.  
          -- Dwight Eisenhower

In short, computer networks, like the printing press 500 years ago, allow
ordinary citizens to distribute their views in different ways and to
different audiences than were previously possible.  This new-found freedom
brings with it many unsolved social, political, and moral issues.  The
solution to these problems is left as an exercise for the reader.  
          -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum, Computer Networks 3rd ed, page 7

In the absence of glamour we are nothing.  
          -- Luke Vahle

In the absence of policies to the contrary, common sense will prevail.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus
one equals nothing.  
          -- Ninon de L'Enclos (1616-1706)

In the cathedral-builder view of programming, bugs and development
problems are tricky, insidious, deep phenomena.  It takes months of
scrutiny by a dedicated few to develop confidence that you've winkled them
all out.  Thus the long release intervals, and the inevitable
disappointment when long-awaited releases are not perfect.  In the bazaar
view, on the other hand, you assume that bugs are generally shallow
phenomena - or, at least, that they turn shallow pretty quick when exposed
to a thousand eager co-developers pounding on every single new release.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

In the empty space of desire, the seats are expensive/Scandals serve as
democracy's Tampax, when it has its period and the hemorrhage has to be
          -- Jean Baudrillard

In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast
cereals.  You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with
          -- Robert Lucky, quoted in chapter 20 of _In Introduction to
Operating Systems_ by Harvey Deitel

In the immortal words of our founder, "This is just a little rant about
two style issues in hypertext that I'm seeing more of and don't like
much." (http://www.w3.org/Provider/Style/ReadableText.html)  Translation
from subtle British politeness:  GET A FUCKING CLUE OR GET OFF MY WEB!  
          -- Dan Connolly

Inbreeding is how we get championship horses.  
          -- Louisiana state representative,Carl Gunter, explaining why he
opposes an anti-abortion bill that allows abortion in cases of incest

Ineffable, adj.:  1. Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or
unutterable.  2. Not to be uttered; taboo.

Ineptitude: If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing
it poorly.  
          -- www.despair.com

Internesia, n.:  The growing tendency to forget exactly where in
Cyberspace you saw a particular bit of information.  
          -- Dave Birch

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as pain-go-bye-bye juice?  
          -- Patton Oswalt on Conan O' Brien

Is it my fault a bunch of guys in sandals did my homework for me 4,000
years ago?  
          -- Philosopy major on Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place

It happened before; it can happen again.  It's just a question of when.  
          -- Armageddon

It is a kind of spiritual snobbery to think one can be happy without money.
          -- Camus

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas,
and not in circumstances.  
          -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is a myth, not a mandate, a fable not a logic, and symbol rather than
reason by which men are moved.  
          -- Irwin Edman

It is not enough if you are busy.  The question is, what are you busy
          -- Henry David Thoreau

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn
thing over and over.  
          -- Edna St. Vincent Millay

It may slow your thesis a bit, but this sort of experience is always good.  
          -- Mani Chandy

It recalls all those horrible films tagged with "Wes Craven presents,"
which soon became a translation for "we gave Wes $100,000 for the use of
his name, but he didn't do anything more than bend over so we could pucker
up and kiss his ass."  You know that when somebody has chosen bending over
to actually doing the work, they've truly gone Hollywood.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

It should be illegal to yell "Y2K" in a crowded economy.  
          -- Larry Wall, creator of the programming language Perl (from

It was hot and sweltering; there were mosqitoes, unfriendly natives, and
we could tell we weren't welcome.  We had access to too much tequila, too
much money, and too much vacation time.  The horror, the horror...  
          -- Greg Bolcer

It was pretty surprising for mom to be working in the yard and to have a
duck fly into her butt.  
          -- Megan Coughlin on the perils of duck ownership

It would certainly explain the length of time he seems to be spending on
things that shouldn't be that time consuming.  It all looks much better if
he's been directing films in his spare time.  
          -- John Dobbin on whether the two Adam Rifkins are really the same

It's a cult of personality, and I'm his high priestess.

It's a sad day for American capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a
kite over Central Park.  
          -- Jim Moran, Time 12/7/98

It's a wide-screen world around me.  
          -- Heather Nova

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart.  Without saying a word
you can light up the dark.  Try as I may I could never explain what I hear
when you don't say a thing.  The smile on your face lets me know that you
need me. There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me.  The
touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall.  
          -- Alison Kraus

It's become very vogue to say [Seinfeld is a hit show revolving around
four very venal, dishonest, selfish, even hateful people], but that's only
on one level.  There's a great warmth beneath the surface of these
characters.  Just the fact that we forgive each other shows you that.  
          -- Jerry Seinfeld, in Entertainment Weekly

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

It's hard to respond to e-mail while eating a popsicle!  
          -- Megan Coughlin

It's incredible how much could be resolved by more prayer in schools!  
          -- Megan Coughlin

It's like talking about the weather in Minnesota.  I literally have
conversations about Microsoft with everybody, every day, all the time.  It
is omnipresent.  
          -- Po Bronson

It's like that Dilbert cartoon where Dilbert asks some woman if she wants
to go to lunch next week and she replies she's not hungry.  
          -- John Dobbin

It's nice to just sit here in the sun, doing nothing.  
          -- Scent of the Roses

It's not only a matter of when to do things, but whether or not to do
them at all.  It's asking questions of why and how as well as when.  It's
consulting your compass as well as your clock.

It's not real love until you let your girlfriend use your toothbrush.

It's not realistic?  Dawson, your favorite movie is E.T.!  
          -- Dawson's Creek

It's not the details that matter.  It's the person typing those details
in stream of consciousness that matters.  Put another way, it's not the
shadow, but what's CASTING the shadow that matters.  A person has to relax
the mind and make it all fuzzy to see through the surface and get to the
inside, where all the magic happens.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

It's so cute when other people think things revolve around them.  
          -- John Dobbin

James Joyce's Ulysses was banned in Britain for 15 years.

Java is my mistress, but I'm married to C++.  I can't get a divorce just
yet, so I spend as much time with my mistress as possible while trying to
keep my wife from finding out and shooting us both.

Java is the Pascal of the 1990s.  
          -- Robert X. Cringely

Jiffy Lube is a bald-faced lie!  
          -- John Dobbin

Joan of Arc quit smoking in 1431.

Jonathan Sacks, my crazy editor years ago at InfoWorld, once explained to
me that if the Post Office would allow him to print a magazine that was
all ads and no editorial, that's exactly what he would do.  It's nice to
feel wanted.  
          -- Robert X. Cringely

Karma police arrest this man, he talks in maths, he buzzes like a fridge,
he's like a detuned radio.  
          -- Radiohead

Kids these days.  With their televisions and their Nikes and their crack
cocaine.  When I was a kid, we got high by beating each other over the
head with the legs of the deer we killed... and we liked it that way.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

L'histoire n'est que le tableau des crimes et des malheurs (History is
but the record of crimes and misfortunes).  
          -- François Voltaire

Language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to
dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity.  
          -- Gustave Flaubert, _Madame Bovary_

Las Vegas is the place to be for theme weddings!  Maybe you could have a
george of the jungle wedding (I know adam has been looking for an excuse
to wear a loin cloth in public).  
          -- Brian Rifkin

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connant pont.  (The heart has its
reasons, whereof reason knows nothing.)  (Alternately: the heart has
reasons that Reason does not know.)  
          -- Blaise Pascal

Legalink, n.:  A marriage performed without religious ceremony.

Let me speak to our mutual friend.  
          -- The Professional

Let the marketplace decide.  
          -- Tim Byars

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
          -- Mark Twain

Let's put it this way, last weekend I got more physical contact with my
sister than I did with her.  
          -- Steven Bondi

Life is a dead-end street.  
          -- H.L. Mencken

Life is a distributed object system. However, communication among humans
is a distributed hypermedia system, where the mind's intellect,
voice+gestures, eyes+ears, and imagination are all components.  
          -- Roy Fielding

Life is a ride.  We're all strapped in and none of us can stop it.  The
best you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed up,
you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.  
          -- Jerry Seinfeld

Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.  
          -- Charles Feidelson, Jr.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.  
          -- Jean de La Bruyhre

Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every
deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded.  
          -- Fulton J. Sheen

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging
day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.  
          -- Stephen Vincent Benit

Life is the childhood of our immortality.  
          -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external
          -- Herbert Spencer

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.  
          -- Stephen Butler Leacock

Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic.  Like Sting, I'm tantric.  Like
Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy.  
          -- Barenaked Ladies

Like most of those who study history, (Napoleon III) learned from the
mistakes of the past how to make new ones.  
          -- A.J.P. Taylor

Like most rational people, I do not like to have my superstitions
tampered with ineptly.  Until such time as a better explanation is
offered, I suggest the practice be continued.  
          -- John F. Adams, _Beekeeping: The Gentle Craft_, speaking of
the practice of "telling the bees," in which someone goes to the beehives
to tell the bees of the death of the beekeeper or other nearby humans

Linear layout, with scrolling, supports visual contiguity, which is
essential for rapid comprehensibility.  
          -- Michael Hoffman

Linus Torvalds's style of development - release early and often, delegate
everything you can, be open to the point of promiscuity - came as a
surprise.  No quiet, reverent cathedral-building here - rather, the Linux
community seemed to resemble a great babbling bazaar of differing agendas
and approaches (aptly symbolized by the Linux archive sites, who'd take
submissions from anyone) out of which a coherent and stable system could
seemingly emerge only by a succession of miracles.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Linus, for example, didn't actually try to write Linux from scratch.
Instead, he started by reusing code and ideas from Minix, a tiny Unix-like
OS for 386 machines.  Eventually all the Minix code went away or was
completely rewritten - but while it was there, it provided scaffolding for
the infant that would eventually become Linux.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Logorrhea, n.:  Excessive and often incoherent talkativeness.

Long, long be my heart with such memories free'd!  Like the vase in which
roses have once been distill'd.  You may break, you may shatter the vase
if you will, but the scent of the roses will hang round it still.  
          -- Thomas Moore Farewell But Whenever

Losing: If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.  
          -- www.despair.com

Love and stoplights can be cruel.  
          -- Sesame Street

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in
the same direction.  
          -- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in
the same direction.  
          -- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Lovemaking is the consolation for living in the body, just as art is the
consolation for living in the world.  
          -- Helmut, The God In Flight

Loyalty's my only vice.  
          -- Snake Eyes

Mac PPC 8600/300.  Newer 275/1Meg G3 card.  256 megs 60ns Newer DIMMs.  4
gig Seagate Barracuda.  2 gig Seagate Hawk.  Imagine 9 128 Graphics card
1152x860.  My porn collection never looked better...  
          -- Tim Byars

Many a man fails to become a thinker only because his memory is too good.
          -- Nietzsche

Mathematicians are the least expensive researchers to support.  All they
need are pencils, paper, and a wastebasket.  And when they turn
philosopher, they don't even need the wastebasket!

May you live all the days of your life.  
          -- Jonathan Swift (Polite Conversation)

Maybe I don't want to sit around for the rest of my life explaining stuff
to people that is painfully obvious to me.  
          -- Good Will Hunting

Maybe we can get together and eat caramels.  When you think about it,
it's as arbitrary as drinking coffee.  
          -- Good Will Hunting

Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time, and most people won't notice the
difference until it's too late.  
          -- www.despair.com

Megan......Jesus......Well, the shoes are similar......  
          -- John Dobbin

Memory is the cabinet of imagination, the treasury of reason, the
registry of conscience, and the council chamber of thought.  
          -- Saint Basil

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.  
          -- Dorothy Parker

Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest.  
          -- Jean Paul Richter

Microsoft, by some accounts, the second most capitalized company on the
planet, is the only corporate colossus in history whose entire product
line could be eliminated with a giant magnet.  
          -- David Shenk

Miller's Paradox of Godwin's Law:  As a network evolves, the number of
Nazi comparisons not forestalled by citation to Godwin's Law converges to

Miller's squad consists of your typical supporting character types (Vin
Diesel, Giovanni Ribisi, Barry Pepper, Adam Goldberg, Jeremy Davies, Tom
Sizemore and Edward Burns), which means that if you list them in order
from least well known to most well known, you've also just listed the
order in which they are knocked off in the story.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

Millions of human hands at work, billions of minds...a vast network,
screaming with life: an organism.  A natural organism.  
          -- Pi

Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a
warning to others.  
          -- www.despair.com

Mockery requires self-awareness.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Mockery, n.:  When you, really, really want to see someone again and
abjectly apologize for being five minutes late, fast all day, and work out
for 120 minutes waiting for shift change, to find she's abruptly quit with
no notice and no forwarding number.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Money is the seed of money, and the first guinea is sometimes more
difficult to acquire than the second million.  
          -- Jean Jacques Rousseau

Monism, n.:  The view that reality is one unitary organic whole with no
independent parts.

Monophobia, n.:  The fear of not being able to listen to the radio in

More men should feel obligated to apologize to me after trying to pick me up.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Morgan's Corollary to Godwin's Law:  As soon as such a comparison occurs,
someone will start a Nazi-discussion thread on alt.censorship.

Mung, n.:  The small dry or semi-dry puddle of coffee found in the bottom
of neglected cups.

My Gorgonite brothers are doing what the Gorgonites do best.  They are
          -- Small Soldiers

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy
suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.  
          -- Noel Coward

My doctor comes in every morning to feel my purse.

My experience tells me that, instead of bothering about how the whole
world may live in the right manner, we should think how we ourselves may
do so.  We do not even know whether the world lives in the right manner or
in a wrong manner.  If, however, we live in the right manner, we shall
feel that others also do the same, or shall discover a way of persuading
them to do so.  
          -- Mahatma Gandhi

My formula for success is much simpler.  To the basic Willard Scott
effect I have added self-deprecating humor and a pledge to avoid repeated
leads, flashbacks and dream sequences.  And that's it.  Pretty pathetic,
          -- Robert X. Cringely

My good intentions are completely lethal.  
          -- Margaret Atwood

My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60.  She's
97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.  
          -- Ellen DeGeneres

My mom said she learned how to swim.  Someone took her out in the lake
and threw her off the boat.  That's how she learned how to swim.  I said,
Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.  
          -- Paula Poundstone

My money is all wrinkled.  I have to go home and iron it.  
          -- Bob McKown

My mother pays the maid every week.  Where is the pen of my aunt?  I have
a pencil. My pencil is yellow.  There is a policeman at the door.  Where
is the cat?  The cat is at the door.  
          -- John Dobbin and Megan Coughlin list the phrases they remember
from foreign language classes

My new Hypothesis: If we're built from Spirals while living in a giant
Spiral, then is it possible that everything we put our hands to is infused
with the Spiral?  
          -- Pi

My pen is at the bottom of a page, / Which, being finished, here the
story ends; / 'Tis to be wished it had been sooner done, / But stories
somehow lengthen when begun.  
          -- Byron

My son asked me if I had a rap name.  I told him he could call me "Cocoa
Puff Daddy."

My wife asked me if I loved her more than basketball.  I said, "College
or NBA?"

My wife says I'm not ambitious enough.  I suppose I could find someone
more supportive, but why bother?  
          -- Jim Rosenberg

Naviform rock overgrown.  Algae cling to its edge, There is a wine-red
glow in the shallows, a tin flash in the sun-dazzle.  
          -- Ezra Pound, Canto 2

Neither of us was "original" in the romantic way people think is genius.  
But then, most science and engineering and software development isn't done
by original genius, hacker mythology to the contrary.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Newt Gingrich is looking at a trillion dollars in tax cuts - sounds like
a lot of money, but it only goes to seven people.  
          -- Michael Feldman on Wisconsin Public Radio's Whad'ya Know,
discussing U.S. politics

No care in the world, maybe I'm learning why the sea on the tide has no
way of turning...  
          -- Roxy Music

No historian can take part with - or against - the forces he has to
study. To him even the extinction of the human race should merely be a
fact to be grouped with other vital statistics.  
          -- Henry Brooks Adams

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting
up with her sh*t.

No person whose entire time is spent in the contemplation of limitation
can demonstrate freedom from such limitation.  
          -- Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind, p. 267, 1938,
Dodd, Mead and Co

No sleeping with hookers?!?  What sort of cheap ass tour is this?  
          -- John Dobbin

No straight lines make up my life, all my roads have bends.  There's no
clear-cut beginning, and so far, no dead ends.  
          -- Harry Chapin

No user reads documentation straight through.  
          -- Rohit Khare

No women, no kids.  That's the rules.  
          -- The Professional

No, apparently I'm the freak.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Non co-operation with evil is as much a duty as co-operation with good.  
          -- Mahatma Gandhi
None of the following actually happened, yet all of it is true.  
          -- Joe Barrera quoting a book he doesn't remember

Nor of Fionn chasing Cassidy, nor Toddie chasing squirrels in order to
bite their tails, nor of Butch beating up the neighbors' dogs, nor of
Haida swinging on the swingset.  
          -- America's Funniest Pet Videos Megan doesn't have

Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none.  
          -- Shakespeare

Not me.  I'm depending on athletes and actors to raise my kids.  
          -- John Dobbin

Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live; Not where I love, but
where I am, I die.  
          -- Robert Southwell

Nothing means a thing to me.  It's not a habit; it's cool, I feel alive.  
If you don't have it, you're on the other side.  I'm not an addict; maybe
that's a lie.  
          -- K's Choice

Now we come to Matt Drudge, Walter Winchell, and, frankly, to Bob
Cringely.  Why is it that people nominally on the edges of the news
business become known and liked?  Why do people even bother to read us?  
And why, especially, do we sometimes accumulate power?  I wish this
phenomenon could be blamed on high professional standards, or brilliant
analysis, or even on hard work, but the truth is it's just an artifact of
          -- Robert X. Cringely

O senseless man, who cannot possibly make a worm and yet will make Gods
by the dozen!  
          -- Michel Eyqyem de Montaigne (1533-92)

O senseless man, who cannot possibly make a worm and yet will make Gods
by the dozen!  
          -- Michel de Montaigne

Of course if your kid has done enough research to discover this obscure
piece of information from years before he was born just so he doesn't have
to eat broccoli, I think he needs to be rewarded.  
          -- John Dobbin

Of course there's some hype, there's hype in lots of things... that's
good for our system.  With all of this hype and craziness... it's probably
more a plus than minus.  
          -- Alan Greenspan, 1/28/99

Often, the most striking and innovative solutions come from realizing
that your concept of the problem was wrong.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us!  It
wad frae monie a blunder free us, And foolish notion.  
          -- Robert Burns, 'To a Louse'

Ohnosecond, n.:  The infinitesimal period of time between hitting the
return key and realizing you should not have.

On the side of the software box, in the 'System Requirements' section, it
said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'.  So I installed Linux.

Once merely fake, wrestling now offers a sick, sometimes satanic
exhibition where women are abused, racial and ethnic differences are
exploited and every vulgarity is encouraged.  YES!!!  
          -- Tim Byars

Once, it made sense to think of signs as pointing to reality. But with
the total saturation of society by the media, cybernetics and mass
production, the world has turned upside down.  Life is an effect - a
byproduct - of television images, computer programs and market surveys.  
Society and information form an increasingly escalating feedback loop:
Each "simulates" the other, until both finally "implode."  All reality
becomes virtual.  
          -- Scott McLemee on Jean Baudillard

One begins to suspect that people are a bad influence on TV rather than
the other way around.  Television's role is merely to assemble the private
bad taste of millions of individuals so it achieves critical mass in the
public square.  The people who might once have gone to local bearbaitings
now cohere into a national audience, so the alarms go off.  
          -- Mark Dolliver, Adweek 4/20/98

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do
and always a clever thing to say.  
          -- Will Durant

One of the nice things about history is that it never goes out of date.  
          -- Kevin Hughes

One of the things that I want to get back is the idea that the Web
version is the original, and if you really need paper product you derive
it from there.  Tim had a little application which he used to translate
HTML files into text, collate them, and print a book that included a table
of contents and index.  
          -- Robert Cailliau

One of the things the old guy also does at the end is salute the
gravestone he's talking to, which was something I saw coming from so far
away that I had time to step aside and write a short treatise on free will
as it relates to independent thought before stepping back in harm's way
and being smacked in the kisser by the runaway freight train that is
Spielbergian manipulation at its finest.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

Only actions give life strength; only moderation gives it charm.  
          -- Jean Paul Richter

Our big, brave, wolf-dog is afraid of Rubber Duckie (who lives in the hot
          -- Megan Coughlin on the perils of wolf-dog ownership

Our critics are our friends, for they do show us our faults.  
          -- Bill Clinton quoting Ben Franklin in a speech, 12/11/98

Our entire culture has been sucked into the black hole of computation, an
utterly frenetic process of virtual planned obsolescence.  But you know,
that process needn't be unexamined or frenetic.  We can examine that
process whenever we like, and the frantic pace is entirely our own fault.  
What's our big hurry anyway?  
          -- Bruce Sterling

Our interest in these subjects goes through phases and the last phase -
disgust - still contains within it a willingness to read, which explains
why these stories that don't seem to die continue until what most people
are doing is just complaining about them.  We're complaining, but we're
still reading, so the stories linger on.  
          -- Robert X. Cringely

Our top story today... in a move that could affect children townwide, the
library book purchase committee slashed its budget by 3%.  First on the
chopping block: periodicals.  
          -- Lisa Simpson

P3S.  ObTrivia from Business Traveler International:  In 20 years, travel
will be $2T, but travelers will only represent 7% of humans. (WTO).  
          -- Rohit Khare

Pain is only weakness leaving the body.  
          -- Ski guide Roko Koell, of the CMH Bugaboo Lodge near Golden,
British Columbia

Pain is temporary.  Film is eternal.

Palliate, v. tr.:  1. To make (an offense or crime) seem less serious;
extenuate.  2. To make less severe or intense; mitigate: tried
unsuccessfully to palliate the widespread discontent.  3. To relieve the
symptoms of a disease or disorder.

Paranoia is the belief in a hidden order behind the visible.

Pen bad.  Keyboard good.  Thought transference really good.  
          -- John Dobbin's matrix of input devices

People who deeply proclaim their everlasting, heartfelt, most passionate
love for someone, then three days later complain that he/she is not worth
the time to have a bad day over.

Perfidy, n. pl.:  1. Deliberate breach of faith; calculated violation of
trust; treachery.  2. The act or an instance of treachery.

Perhaps it means nothing, or as we know, sometimes a person can mean
          -- Ann Marie Clark

Perhaps you'll have some time to think rather than write.  
          -- Dick Taylor

Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills
several hundred people a year who are trying to find it.  
          -- www.despair.com

Pinky: "What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"  Brain: "The same thing
we do every night, Pinky:  try to install Windows 95!"

Pizzle, n. [prob. fr. Flem. pezel]:   1. the penis of an animal (as a
bull)  2. a whip made of a bull's pizzle

Pizzled, adj.:  An inebriated state of some sort that loosens up one's
wallet.  You can get pizzled on papapot [69UBIK], or by pizzling away at
the bottle [70MAZE].

Plan to throw one away; you will, anyhow.  
          -- Fred Brooks, The Mythical Man Month

Plans are one thing and fate another.  When they coincide, success
results.  Yet success musn't be considered the absolute.  It is
questionable, for that matter, whether success is an adequate response to
life.  Success can eliminate as many options as failure.  
          -- Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues

Point of view is worth 80 IQ points.  
          -- Alan Kay

Politicians are interested in people.  Not that this is always a virtue.  
Fleas are interested in dogs.  
          -- P.J. O'Rourke

Prey animals collect in herds (or schools) to prevent any single one from
being cut off and "captured."  Predators roam individually so they don't
have to share their catch - though they may cooperate in attempts to break
up or spook a herd.  
          -- Ernest Prabhakar

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.  
          -- Piet Hein, Grooks

Procrastination: Hard work often pays off over time, but laziness always
pays off now.  
          -- www.despair.com

Progress, n.:  The process through which Usenet has evolved from smart
people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart
          -- obs@burnout.demon.co.uk (obscurity)

Provided the development coordinator has a medium at least as good as the
Internet, and knows how to lead without coercion, many heads are
inevitably better than one.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Public whining when you're really more fortunate than 90% of the
population is not allowed.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Quality of life depends on what happens in the space between stimulus and

Quiniela, n.:  A system of betting in which the bettor must pick the
first and second place finishers, but need not designate their order of
finish to win.

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
 Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well
          -- Dorothy Parker

Real Swaraj will come, not by the acquisition of authority by a few, but
by the acquisition of the capacity by all to resist authority when it is
          -- Mahatma Gandhi

Reasoning by metaphor is crap.  Reasoning by analogy is like crap.  My
what a big pathetic fallacy you have.  
          -- Wayne Baisley

Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.  
          -- Jean Paul Richter

Relationships are hard.  It's like a full-time job, and we should treat
it like one.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they
should give you two weeks' notice.  There should be severance pay, and
before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.  
          -- Bob Ettinger

Release early.  Release often.  And listen to your customers.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Relinquishing junk.  Stage one, preparation.  For this you will need one
room which you will not leave.  Soothing music.  Tomato soup, ten tins of.
 Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold.  Ice cream, vanilla,
one large tub of.  Magnesia, milk of, one bottle.  Paracetomal, mouthwash,
vitamins.  Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography.  One mattress.  One
bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus.  One television and
one bottle of Valium.  Which I've already procured from my mother.  Who
is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict.  
And now I'm ready.  All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while
the Valium takes effect.  
          -- Trainspotting

Remember what master chef Mike Roy demanded: low-heat cooking.

Ritalin is easy, ritalin is good, even all the ones who watered down the
          -- Foo Fighters, This is a Call

Robert Harley's ever-growing team, now numbering over 66, has been first
to overcome each of the Certicom challenges broken to date.  I asked
Harley whether any other teams were even working on the problem, and he
replied, "Yes, but their code sucks."  
          -- Keith Dawson

Rohit has developed a unique theoretical perspective that combines
rational choice, political clientelism and a modified bureaucratic
authoritarianism approach to understanding the intersection between street
vending and politics.  
          -- Adam Rifkin, found on the Web

Rohit would be fun in court.  Let's frame him to test this theory.  
          -- John Dobbin

Rx is Latin for recipe.

Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a
sex object.  The difference is that isnot all she longs to be.  
          -- Betty Rollin

Screw the dead!  What did their mouldering asses ever do for me?  
          -- "Homicide" Detective Mike Kellerman

Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature, nor do
the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring
adventure, or nothing.  
          -- Helen Keller

Sedulous, adj.:  Persevering and constant in effort or application;

Self-esteem is such a fragile thing, truly immune to reason.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Sensafunativity, n.:  That personality trait which enables optimistic
persons to see the humor of any given situation.

Seven media giants control the diversity of television:  
Tele-Communications Inc., Time-Warner, Disney, Rupert Murdoch's News
Corporation, General Electric, Viacom, and CBS.

Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.  
          -- Winston Churchill

Show me your [code] and conceal your [data structures], and I shall
continue to be mystified.  Show me your [data structures], and I won't
usually need your [code]; it'll be obvious.  
          -- Fred Brooks, The Mythical Man Month

Shut up and justify my lifestyle, dammit!  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Si nous ne trouvons pas des choses agrables, nous trouverons du moins des
choses nouvelles.  If we do not find anything pleasant, at least we shall
find something new.  
          -- Voltaire, 1694-1778, _Candide_ (1759), ch. l7

Simply the thing I am shall make me live.  
          -- William Shakespeare

Sircar's Corollary to Godwin's Law:  If the Usenet discussion touches on
homosexuality or Heinlein, Nazis or Hitler are mentioned within three

Smart data structures and dumb code works a lot better than the other way
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Smile!  It's the second-best thing you can do with your lips.

So Cal is where my mind states, but it's not my state of mind.  I'm not
as ugly sad as you.  Or am I origami?  Folded up and just pretend,
demented as the motives in your head.  
          -- Eve 6, Inside Out

So I'll continue to continue to pretend my life will never end, and
flowers never bend with the rainfall.  
          -- Simon and Garfunkel

So at this moment (assuming that you're not reading/responding to e-mail
while you're having sex), you are asexual?  
          -- Megan Coughlin

So far as intellectual 'work' is concerned, I have no idea about that any
longer.  What I have left is a total receptiveness in the void, where
nothing is to be expected except from universal gravity.  
          -- Jean Baudrillard

So this is the ship they say is unsinkable.  
          -- Titanic

So we sat, and we watched, all the specially-selected news.  And we
learned so much more 'bout the good guys...  
          -- The Gulf War song, Moxy Fruvous

So, if rapid releases and leveraging the Internet medium to the hilt were
not accidents but integral parts of Linus's engineering-genius insight
into the minimum-effort path, what was he maximizing?  What was he
cranking out of the machinery?  Put that way, the question answers itself.
Linus was keeping his hacker/users constantly stimulated and rewarded -
stimulated by the prospect of having an ego-satisfying piece of the
action, rewarded by the sight of constant (even daily) improvement in
their work.  Linus was directly aiming to maximize the number of
person-hours thrown at debugging and development, even at the possible
cost of instability in the code and user-base burnout if any serious bug
proved intractable.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Sociologists years ago discovered that the averaged opinion of a mass of
equally expert (or equally ignorant) observers is quite a bit more
reliable a predictor than that of a single randomly-chosen one of the
observers.  They called this the "Delphi effect."  It appears that what
Linus has shown is that this applies even to debugging an operating system
- that the Delphi effect can tame development complexity even at the
complexity level of an OS kernel.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Some intellectuals have a problem with the choices others make.  They
naturally assume that they know better and their choices should prevail.  
I believe Lenin had a similar perspective...  
          -- Rick Rashid

Some men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not the
fish they are after.  
          -- Henry David Thoreau

Some people see things that are and ask, Why?  Some people dream of
things that never were and ask, Why not?  Some people have to go to work
and don't have time for all that shit.  
          --  George Carlin

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same
thing: This looks much better on.  On what?  On fire?  
          -- Rita Rudner

Spinning is an early sign of drug abuse, you know.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Stone thrown in river.  A realization ripples.  So it means nothing.  
          -- Ann Marie Clark

Stupidity: Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who
never win and never quit are idiots.  
          -- www.despair.com

Suburban life ain't what it seems.  Suburban life the American dream.  
Suburban life so pretty and great.  Suburban life ain't what it seems.  
          -- Kotton Mouth Kings

Swanney taught us to adore and respect the national health service.  For
it was the source of much of our gear.  We stole drugs.  We stole
prescriptions or bought them, sold them, swapped them, forged them,
photocopied them.  Or traded drugs with cancer victims, alcoholics,
old-age pensioners, AIDS patients, epileptics, and bored housewives.  
          -- Trainspotting

Swapping out souls on HomoSapiens 6162.  Oh hell, you already know where
this is going.  
          -- Joe Barrera

Syncretism, n.:  1. Reconciliation or fusion of differing systems of
belief, as in philosophy or religion, especially when success is partial
or the result is heterogeneous.  2. Linguistics The merging of two or more
originally different inflectional forms.

TCP is more exciting than UDP, and the way you know that is by the size
of the header.  
          -- a CMU computer science professor

TV has become our hearth, our home, our country and the very air we
breathe. So what's at stake today is, simply, everything.  
          -- Mark Crispin Miller

Take your time, think a lot.  Think of everything you've got.  For you
will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.  
          -- Cat Stevens, "Father and Son"

Taxi service and suicide hotline.  I smell start-up!  Good thing y'all
have two cars now...  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means
for going backwards.  
          -- Aldous Huxley

Thank you, your honor.  With God's help I'll conquer this terrible
          -- Trainspotting

That men do not learn very much from history is the most important of all
the lessons that history has to teach.  
          -- Aldous Huxley

That is the truth of our world, Max. It can't be easily summed up with
          -- Pi

That's a really good solution by the way... Sort of like using a firehose
to wash your face.  
          -- John Dobbin

The #1 thing a women looks for is security.  How do you illustrate this?  
Well you have to knock them around, knock them off their feet, then
without hesitation catch them in your big strong arms reassuring them you
will never let them fall.  This is of course figurative, not literal.  
          -- Tim Byars

The 2-1 fave usually wins at the ponies, but not always, and when you hit
on 17, you tend to bust.  
          -- Jim Cramer

The Ancient Japanese considered the Go board to be a microcosm of the
universe.  Although when it is empty it appears to be simple and ordered,
in fact, the possibilities of gameplay are endless.  They say that no two
Go games have ever been alike.  Just like snowflakes.  So, the Go board
actually represents an extremely complex and chaotic universe.  
          -- Pi

The Coens - intellectuals that they are - reveal their utter contempt for
working-class existence by representing plebian culture as the playground
of the absurd.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

The Good Lord has so created Man that everyone can make every conceivable
mistake on his own.  Don't ever try to learn from other people's mistakes.
Learn what other people do right.  
          -- Martin Buber

The Internet is in fact the most amazing paper trail in the history of
the world, a fact often lost on some elements of our media which tend to
treat the online medium as a shadowy otherworld, cyberspace, where you
can't trust anything you read or anyone you meet.  
          -- The Motley Fool, LA Times 2/22/97

The Internet was designed to survive a nuclear war.  But can it survive
          -- Charles Petrie, IEEE Internet Computing, March/April 1997

The Linux world behaves in many respects like a free market or an
ecology, a collection of selfish agents attempting to maximize utility
which in the process produces a self-correcting spontaneous order more
elaborate and efficient than any amount of central planning could achieve.
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

The Torah is just a long string of numbers.  Some say that it's a code
sent to us from God.  
          -- Pi

The UPS man is always in a hurry, the mailman is a woman, and the milkman
is history.  What's a bored housewife supposed to do for fun these days?

The advantage of the penis from the communications point of view is that
it is easy to imagine it shrivelled up and shrunken whereas damage to
other vital organs such as the heart is much less obvious or easy to
          -- Clive Bates, director of Action on Smoking and Health in
Britain, commenting on Boston University School of Medicine research
demonstrating that smoking could reduce the size of a man's erect penis

The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.  
          -- William James

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.  
          -- women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

The bigger a person's head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes!  
          -- Henry A.Courtney

The capacity to recognize higher orders that unify diverse phenomena and
make complex situations more simple.  This is the essence of creative and
productve thinking and problem solving.  
          -- Moshe Rubenstein

The charm of sleepless nights is the idea that tomorrow will not come.  
          -- Jean Baudrillard

The church member asked the preacher if a contribution of $10,000 would
get him into heaven.  The preacher said, "It's worth a try."

The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix with my
friends again in a state of full consciousness.  It was awful.  They
reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at them.  
          -- Trainspotting

The easiest way to maximize the amount of information over a
communication line (in Shannon's Information Theory's terms) is to hook up
a random noise generator to it.  The Internet is just one massive attempt
to illustrate this point.

The finished product was just too painful for me to look at.  
          -- Donald Knuth on why he stopped submitting papers to the AMS
in 1974 to work on TeX

The first step on the road to truth is to call things by their proper names.  
          -- Ancient Chinese Saying

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make
empty prophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made
a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the
bonds of Hell.  
          -- St. Augustine

The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves
to be a liar giving false testimony... then you must purge the evil from
among you.  
          -- Deuteronomy 19:18-19

The key to life is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you've got it
          -- Adam Rifkin

The leaves of memory seemed to make A mournful rustling in the dark.  
          -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story,
and writes another.  
          -- James Matthew Barrie

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

The main thing is to make history, not to write it.  
          -- Otto von Bismarck

The mediocre teacher tells.  The good teacher explains.  The superior
teacher demonstrates.  The great teacher inspires.  
          -- William Arthur Ward

The men who make history have not time to write it.  
          -- Prince von Metternich

The moving finger writes, and then having writ, moves on.

The naming of cats is a difficult matter.  It isn't just one of your
holiday games.  You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter.  When I tell
you a cat must have three different names...  
          -- T.S. Eliot

The next 10 years are going to be terrible.  After that, you'll get used
to it.  
          -- Scent of the Roses

The next best thing to having good ideas is recognizing good ideas from
your users.  Sometimes the latter is better.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

The only choices where "Bawck, bawck, bawck," "Baaaaa," and "Mooooo."  
This restaurant really didn't seem to have too much food in it.  
          -- John Dobbin

The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who
took exercise.  
          -- Peter O'Toole, on the Rosie O'Donnell Show

The only thing we learn from history is that we do not learn.  
          -- Earl Warren

The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from
          -- Georg Hegel

The pessimist complains about the wind, The optimist expects it to
change, The realist adjusts the sails.

The public wants what the public gets, but I don't want what society's got.  
          -- Paul Weller

The sea was angry that day, my friends.  Like an old man trying to send
back soup at the deli.  
          -- George Costanza

The secret to business is knowing what others don't.  
          -- Aristotle Onasis

The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the
rationalizations of the victors.  History is written by the survivors.  
          -- Max Lerner

The system by which we live - advanced capitalism - as currently
organised, creates low serotonin societies.  
          -- Oliver James, author of _Britain on the Couch_ extracted in
G2, page 2, The (Manchester) Guardian, 15 September 1997

The truth arises from the disagreement amongst friends.  
          -- David Hume

The truth is that I'm a bad person.  But, that's gonna change - I'm going
to change.  This is the last of that sort of thing.  Now I'm cleaing up
and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life.  I'm looking forward
to it already.  I'm gonna be just like you.The job, the family, the
fucking big television.  The washing machine, the car, the compact disc
and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance,
mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY,
game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at
golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed
pension, tax exemption clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the
day you die.  
          -- Trainspotting

The tulips from my window getting ready to bloom...  
          -- Adam Rifkin

The universe is made of stories, not atoms.  
          -- Muriel Rukeyser

The usual correlation between abundance of attitude and lack of clue
applies here too.  
          -- Robert Harley

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
          -- Mark Twain

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's
just sort of a tired feeling.  
          -- Paula Poundstone

The wonderful thing about bipolars, is bipolars are wonderful things;
their walls are lined with rubber, their minds are all filled up with
things; bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun...  
          -- Joe Barrera

Then: Scrawny geek with Coke bottle glasses and curly hair.  Now:
Slovenly geek with Coke bottle glasses and no hair.  
          -- Top 5

There are only two 100% reliable forms of birth control: abstinence and
the Condom of God.  Feel free to take your pick.  
          -- The Parking Lot Is Full by Pete Nesbitt and Pat Spacek

There are so many good reasons to resent me, but you keep finding the
worthless ones.  
          -- John Dobbin

There is more to life than increasing its speed.  
          -- Mahatma Gandhi

There is no better way to test your peripheral vision than to sit in a
class next to someone you have a crush on.

There is no silver bullet.  
          -- Frederick Brooks

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which
it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.  
          -- James Boswell

There's no greater power than the power of goodbye.  
          -- Madonna

There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to find out.  
          -- Cat Stevens

These laboratories do not pass the test for ethics and respect for the
consumer,  They must be treated like bacteria which must be fought without
          -- Renan Calheiros

They also ate at this place where they ordered by making the sound of the
animal they were ordering.  Istanbul moved up a little on my places to
visit list.  
          -- John Dobbin

They were never in a mattress!  You're just blowing this all out of
          -- John Dobbin

Things aren't as interesting if everything is as it seems.  Wild
speculation is fun.  
          -- Adam Rifkin

Think of it as reality and it becomes reality.  
          -- John Dobbin

Thinking is the hardest work a man can do, which is probably why so few
engage in it.  
          -- Henry Ford

This computer makes me all frowny with pure nougat-filled hatred!  
          -- Jhonen Vasquez

This had an upside in that the XML process was relatively untroubled by
the kind of time-wasting industry politics and bureaucratic infighting
that are inevitable in an organization such as W3C.  
          -- Tim Bray

This is a very small story in a very big war and as such, Spielberg has
utterly depoliticized the entire thing, which is probably okay except that
it means listening to Neanderthals root for people to be shot in the face
and utter "cool" and "neato" when people's limbs fly across the screen as
Spielberg sets new standards for cinematic war realism.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

This is twice now that I've been awake, taken this powerful anti-sleep
drug, and conked out cold and hard for an hour and a half within minutes.  
          -- Rohit Khare

This isn't crowing.  It's a sad inventory of what it takes to actually
stretch me too thin, smeared out across spacetime, TRAVELMAN Rohit Khare
This means I am recognized wherever I go, though I sometimes try to
disguise myself by saying that I am often mistaken for Hawking.  Why was
(the book) such a success?  A contributing element must be the fact that I
am disabled, or should I say, physically challenged.  
          -- Stephen Hawking in Prospect magazine

This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this.  There's
final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?  
          -- Trainspotting

Those three little words that mean so much:  "Shut up, dear."

Those who are possessed by nothing possess everything.  
          -- Morehei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido, _The Art of Peace_

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the
fatigue of supporting it.  
          -- Thomas Paine

Thou shall not kill.  Thou shall not commit adultery.  Don't eat pork.  
I'm sorry, what was that last one?  Don't eat pork.  God has spoken.  Is
that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?  
          -- Jon Stewart

Thou shalt not use a queue as a database.  
          -- The 10 Q-Mandments, http://www.messageq.com/ten-q.html

Thus, we can go through the entire movie pretty sure that Forrest Gump
and Good Will Hunting are going to run into each other at some point and
discuss the finer points of advanced math or chocolates or war morality.  
          -- Mr. Cranky

Time is the purest and cheapest form of doom.  
          -- Jack Kerouac, Visions of Cody

To be 86'ed is to be so drunk that your cut off and asked to leave the
bar.  Example: I can't go anywhere with Rohit, he keeps getting 86'ed.  
          -- Tim Byars

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your
private heart is true for all men - that is genius.  
          -- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

To judge from the evidence of his journal, becoming an international
intellectual superstar has not exactly been bad for his sex life.  Plus,
he wracks up a lot of frequent-flier miles.  Besides writing about
nameless women and his travels, Baudrillard knocks off cryptic, rather
world-weary remarks about, for example, "Thelma and Louise" (he seems to
have enjoyed it) and human stupidity (it annoys him).  
          -- Scott McLemee

To me it suffices to wonder at these secrets and to attempt humbly to
grasp with my mind a mere image of the lofty structure of all that there is.
          -- Albert Einstein  

To solve an interesting problem, start by finding a problem that is
interesting to you.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

To those who would call it sci-fi, I must point out with a sigh: please
study your diction, for in science fiction, the second word has no long I.
Gentle reader, you may wonder why SF's not the same as sci-fi; well,
there's a fine line between Robert Heinlein and "Revenge of the Two-Headed

To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is
          -- Edgar Bronfman

To understand the application may be to meet the challenge of the moment;
but to understand the principle is to meet the challenge of the moment
more effectively and to be empowered to meet a thousand challenges of the
future as well.

Tonight's fortune: The strengths in your character will bring you
serenity.  This year's fortune (the best!), from Beltane: Do foolish
things, with enthusiasm!  
          -- Rohit Khare

Too bad, people say, what's wrong with these kids today?  I tell you
right now they've got nothing to lose.  They're building empires.  
          -- Queensryche

Too lazy to fail.  
          -- Robert Heinlein

Torpor, n.:  A state of mental and motor inactivity with partial or total
insensibility: extreme sluggishness or stagnation of function.

Traditionally programmers have tended to favor control syntaxes that are
very precise and compact and have no redundancy at all.  This is a
cultural legacy from when computing resources were expensive, so parsing
stages had to be as cheap and simple as possible.  English, with about 50%
redundancy, looked like a very inappropriate model then.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Treating your users as co-developers is your least-hassle route to rapid
code improvement and effective debugging.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

True love is not nice, no no.  
          -- Jonathan Richman

Trust is the natural outgrowth of trustworthinesss.  So the
highest-leverage thing we can do to create trust is to be trustworthy.

Truth is not determined by majority vote.  
          -- Doug Gwyn

Trying to get a read on Apple Computer is a lot like learning about
quantum physics; you can never know Apple's position on a technology, and
its direction, simultaneously.  
          -- Mark Pesce, from The Great Leap Downward: Mark Pesce on the
politics of VRML

Turns out that baby you threw in the trash can survived, and now he's
6'4", 230 and ready to get Medieval on your ass.  
          -- Top 5

Ultimately, what makes you happy?  What makes your heart sing and dance?  
What fills your soul with breath?  
          -- Christine Renner

Unless we remember we cannot understand.  
          -- Edward M. Forster

Unlike INI files, the Windows Registry cannot be inadvertently changed
with a text editor.  You must use the Registry Editor to make inadvertent
          -- Mr. Bunny's Guide to ActiveX

Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be a very silent place
if no birds sang except the best.  
          -- Henry Van Dyke

Van der Leun's Corollary to Godwin's Law: As global connectivity
improves, the probability of actual Nazis being on the Net approaches one.

Wait a sec, I'm an adult straight white male and all my limbs are still
attached.  I'm supposed to rule the frickin planet single-handedly with
all my whorin' and queer-bashin', right?  Sheesh.  Obtain a clue.  
          -- Robert Harley

Want to show your wife that you love her?  Learn to change a diaper.  And
then do it, empty the diaper pail/trash can, clean up the spit up.  Even
without being asked.  Your wife will appreciate it.  It will be good for
your soul.  
          -- Wayne Baisley

War educates the senses, calls into action the will, perfects the
physical constitution, brings men into such swift and close collision in
critical moments that man measures man.  
          -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are approaching the point were we are incapable of reasonable
discourse on Internet content. Refuse to boot up for inspection means
you've got something to hide. Defend civil liberties of the accused means
you condone guilty acts. Question the nature of the censorious policies in
the first place means you are filthy, and as unhealthy as the wily-eyed
porn devourer.  
          -- Kenneth Neil Cukier

We are going to cut off their air supply.  Everything they're selling,
we're going to give away for free.  
          -- Paul Maritz, Microsoft Group Vice-President, referring to
Microsoft's strategy to beat Netscape

We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.  
          -- William Osler

We call things we don't understand complex, but that means we haven't
found a good way of thinking about them.  
          -- Tsutomu Shimomura, _Takedown_

We decided at lunch today that John Feiler is in charge of setting up an
experiment to prove/disprove Marc's assertion that if you had a hundred
monkey tossing a hundred salads for a hundred years, one of them would end
up separating the salad into its component ingredients.  
          -- Megan Coughlin

We had great problems conceptually with Mosaic because it was sort of the
Volkswagen Bug of transportation.  Everybody can afford it, it takes no
time to install, it does something that is new to you, but it's not quite
          -- Robert Cailliau

We in the academic world like to think we are bathing the country in
logic and right reason, when all you have to do is stop at a service
station or read a newspaper to find out otherwise.  There is a spine of
goofiness in America that has never been deterred by literacy.  It's not
that we are in a genetic slump but that literacy, the educative system,
barely scratches the surface of ordinary consciousness.  
          -- the character Professor Michael, from the novel Dalva by
Jim Harrison

We just want woman to have more realistic ideals.  And we want all of you
to look like Demi Moore.  Is that so much to ask?  
          -- John Dobbin

We love peace, but not peace at any price.  There is a peace more
destructive of the manhood of living man, than war is destructive of his
body.  Chains are worse than bayonets.  
          -- Douglas Jerrold, 1803-1857

We put the F.U. in fun.  
          -- Top 5

We put the Ho in Hotel.  
          -- Top 5

We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of programmer:
laziness, impatience, and hubris.  
          -- Larry Wall and Randal Schwartz, Programming Perl

We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal!  
          -- Trainspotting

We've bought a lot of small companies, and I'd say that's been vital to
us. These are companies that on their own probably wouldn't have made it,
but when their abilities are combined with ours, both of us were able to
create a much better set of products than we could've otherwise.  
          -- Bill Gates

We've sustainably driven them away.  I don't know why you don't invite me
over more often.  
          -- Rohit Khare

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the
ungrateful.  We have done so much, for so long, with so little, that now
we are capable of doing practically anything with nearly nothing.

Well, it may be all right in practice, but it will never work in theory.  
          -- Warren Buffet on how the academic community regards his
investment approach

What I'm trying to communicate is that I'm willing to do nudity at no
extra charge.  
          -- Newsradio

What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

What happens if you are at the wrong place at the RIGHT time?

What is history but a fable agreed upon?  
          -- Napoleon Bonaparte

What is missing from the net is a clapometer which is basically why
people still meet.  
          -- Tim Berners-Lee

What they didn't tell you is that Monica has a closet full of stained

What we all *really* need is high-level design re-use and coarse-grained
code re-use, with frameworks supporting flexible composition and totally
throw-away code.  
          -- Jeff Bone

What we have here is two important values in direct conflict: freedom of
speech and our desire for healthy campaigns in a healthy democracy.  You
can't have both.  
          -- Dick Gephardt in the WSJ 8/6/97

What would be worth living for?  Some people ask that very same question.
Luckily, I know the answer.  Slurpees.  
          -- Richard Goodman

What?  You're not a huge Hercules/Xena fan?  What kind of software geek
are you?  
          -- Megan Coughlin

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide, where I stop
and I turn and I go for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see you
again.  Do you, don't you, want me to love you?  I'm coming down fast but
I'm miles above you.  Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on tell me the
answer.  Well, you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.  Helter
          -- the Beatles

When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun.  So
one day when I was six, I did... the next day I had my first headache.  
          -- Pi

When a meme catches on, it may crystallize whole schools of thought.  
Take the "black hole" meme, for instance. As physicist Brandon Carter has
commented in Stephen Hawkings's A Brief History of Time: A Reader's
Companion: "Things changed dramatically when John Wheeler invented the
term [black hole]... Everybody adopted it, and from then on, people around
the world, in Moscow, in America, in England, and elsewhere, could know
they were speaking about the same thing."  Once the "black hole" meme
became commonplace, it became a handy source of metaphors for everything
from illiteracy to the deficit.  
          -- Mike Godwin

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign,
that the dunces are all in a confederacy against him.  
          -- Johnathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects,
Moral and Diverting

When somebody needs you, well there's no drug like that.  
          -- Heather Nova, London Rain

When writing gateway software of any kind, take pains to disturb the data
stream as little as possible - and *never* throw away information unless
the recipient forces you to!  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

When you start community-building, what you need to be able to present is
a plausible promise.  Your program doesn't have to work particularly well.
 It can be crude, buggy, incomplete, and poorly documented.  What it must
not fail to do is convince potential co-developers that it can be evolved
into something really neat in the foreseeable future.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

When your language is nowhere near Turing-complete, syntactic sugar can
be your friend.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust
less on the same income.  
          -- Plato

Whereas 20 years ago TV production was the work of many non-affiliated
entities, today approximately 90 per cent of what is seen on the 6
networks during prime time belongs to General Electric, Time-Warner,
Disney, News Corporation, Viacom, CBS, Sony, and Universal.

While I don't claim to be a great programmer, I try to imitate one.  An
important trait of the great ones is constructive laziness.  They know
that you get an A not for effort but for results, and that it's almost
always easier to start from a good partial solution than from nothing at
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

While coding remains an essentially solitary activity, the really great
hacks come from harnessing the attention and brainpower of entire
communities.  The developer who uses only his or her own brain in a closed
project is going to fall behind the developer who knows how to create an
open, evolutionary context in which bug-spotting and improvements get done
by hundreds of people.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the
consequences of our actions.  
          -- Stephen Covey

Who died and made you the universe's accountant?  
          -- Megan Coughlin

Who won the Gulf War?  The oil companies.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do I never learn?  There's the good, and there's the bad, and they
never come separated.  
          -- Rohit Khare
Why do so many women who have pretty blond hair dye their roots brown?

Why do we wash BATH TOWELS.  Aren't we clean when we use them?

Win-win is not adversarial, it's synergistic.  It's not transactional,
it's transformational.

Within seconds little Nikki's hand, the girl of Rohit's dreams, the
object of his affections had her dirty whore hand up my shirt on my
nipple, then she said she wanted to see it, up came the shirt and she
examined it.  Well that was it.  Core breach.  Complete melt down.  
          -- Tim Byars

Women are dirty whores and want to be treated as such.  Yeah sure,
respect and all that comes later when they earn it, but the direct road is
the road to success.  No Pussyfooting as Fripp and Eno would say.  
          -- Tim Byars

Women have no interest in aphrodisiacs, which have their origin in the
fragility of the male organ.  It is given names of tools and weapons, and
even said to have supernatural powers but in fact it fits inside a tin of
          -- Isabel Allende, Aphrodite

Women should stay in the gym all day working out so when their hubby gets
home from writing drivers or plugging security holes in NT server he has
something provocative and exciting to look at.  And that's the bottom
          -- Tim Byars

Would it be funny if you got all the props you're supposed to throw
during Rocky Horror and threw them at soccer games (rice, toast, etc.)?  
          -- Megan Coughlin's suggestions for increasing attendance at MLS

Write clearly so I can tell what you are doing wrong.  
          -- Zoe Wood's TA

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.  
          -- Frank Zappa

Yaron Goland: As sophisticated as I get is when I don't actually say
anything.  Lisa Dusseault: How often do you have that kind of restraint?

Yeah, well... weirder or stupider.  It's a fine line.  
          -- Bob McKown on John Dobbin

Yeah.  It was a little computer.  The one I had with me in Vegas, which
as I write I realize you never saw.  They were all in my underwear box.  
          -- John Dobbin

You can get something out fast if you can control the prototype, but in
computing there is no such thing as a prototype.  The prototype stutters
itself all over the world.  
          -- Robert Cailliau

You can only react to opportunities that you "see".  Another person may
have exactly the same opportunity but not see it as such and therefore,
not act on it... whether you realize it or not the experiences you have
have, the opportunities that you have acted on, have created new
opportunities for you...you have been actively shaping your destiny...  
          -- Christine Renner

You can't measure time in days the way you can money in dollars because
every day is different.  
          -- Jorge Luis Borges

You can't really aim or plan for a result like this.  You have to get
pulled into it by design ideas so powerful that afterward the results just
seem inevitable, natural, even foreordained.  The only way to try for
ideas like that is by having lots of ideas - or by having the engineering
judgment to take other peoples' good ideas beyond where the originators
thought they could go.  Andrew Tanenbaum had the original idea to build a
simple native Unix for the 386, for use as a teaching tool.  Linus
Torvalds pushed the Minix concept further than Andrew probably thought it
could go - and it grew into something wonderful.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

You cannot learn to fly by flying.  First you must learn to walk, to run,
to climb, to dance.  
          -- Friedrich Nietzsche

You didn't *mislead* people, you *lied* to people.  
          -- Rush Limbaugh

You don't burn out from going too fast.  You burn out from going too slow
and getting bored.  
          -- Cliff Burton of Metallica

You don't realize how little FoRK needs to be future-proofed?  All it
will do is serve to show biographers that you were on the forefront of
many things.  Just tell your biographers that and save them the reading...
          -- John Dobbin

You don't take apart a frog to see how he jumps.  
          -- Seinfeld

You have a favorite Monkees episode?  Ahem.  
          -- John Dobbin

You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this
world's happiness now.  How?  By giving a few words of sincere
appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged.  Perhaps you will
forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may
cherish them over a lifetime.  
          -- Dale Carnegie

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?  Movie Day!  
          -- Jay Mohr

You know those people who won't take no for an answer?  Well, I'm not one
of them.  I'm easily discouraged.  I *WILL* take no for an answer.  
          -- The Last Days of Disco

You know, the computer revolution really loves itself.  It's all about
publicity really, it's about moving data fast and cheap, so maybe it's
only natural that it gets entranced by its own hype.  But you know, this
isn't the last technological revolution that you and I are going to
          -- Bruce Sterling

You steal the crown jewel of a man's life, and all you can come up with
is some [wimpy] Hallmark sentiment?  
          -- A Perfect Murder

You take the TV out of this relationship, and it is just torture.   
          -- George Costanza

You would be a very bad dog.  
          -- Megan Coughlin to John Dobbin

You wouldn't get hype working if there weren't something fundamentally
potentially sound under it.  The issue really gets to the increasing
evidence that a significant part of the distribution of goods and services
is going to move from conventional channels into some form of Internet
          -- Alan Greenspan, 1/28/99

You're just a stone flinging, glass house living, something bad.  
          -- John Dobbin

You're nobody until you are difficult.  
          -- Betty Davis

You've all heard the saying: If all you have is a hammer, everything
starts to look like a nail.  That's actually a Modernistic saying.  The
postmodern version is: If all you have is duct tape, everything starts to
look like a duct.  Right.  When's the last time you used duct tape on a
          -- Larry Wall

You've picked a nice area for research.  You will have a good thesis.  
          -- Mani Chandy

You: Class of 1958 - Most Likely to Succeed.  Your date: Class of 2002 -
Most likely to get you arrested.  
          -- Top 5

Young girls, especially, don't have a lot of good role models, and they
really get underestimated by the film industry.  People think that they
just want movies like Pretty Woman, when really they - at least the ones
that I know personally - have been waiting for something that doesn't
completely insult them.  
          -- Winona Ryder

Your existence to date is a waste of calories.  If you want to live in a
cave, do it in the afterlife and stop getting in the way of the Universe's
search for self-awareness.  
          -- Rohit Khare

Your mom is sooo cute.  
          -- John Dobbin

Your mouse has moved.  Windows NT must be restarted for the change to
take effect.  Reboot now?  [ OK ]

Your thesis topic is not the culmination of your best ideas, it's just
something that you can prove in detail...  I think your thesis is just
supposed to be something that you compromise on.  Every minute you are
writing your thesis you are not doing new and interesting research.  
          -- Greg Bolcer

[History] hath triumphed over time, which besides it nothing but eternity
          -- Sir Walter Raleigh

"Haida would protect you if you were in danger, right?"  "Nope. She'd
look real worried though."  
          -- John Dobbin and Megan Coughlin about the scary wolf-dog

"I read your book last night."  "So you were the one."  
          -- Good Will Hunting

"I wish you had Madonna's breasts, too?"  Or, "Hey, I like Madonna's
breasts right where they are?"  Or, "I wish my girlfriend/wife had
Madonna's breasts.  Is there a tactful way to tell her?"  Or, "Did you
hear about the new drug you can take that will enlarge your breasts
without surgery?"  I got a million of them.  I'd be a great guy.  
          -- Megan Coughlin anticipates male response to a woman's comment
that she "wish[ed] she had Madonna's breasts"

"I'm not going to school today, for two reasons: the teachers hate me and
the students make fun of me."  "You're going to school today, for two
reasons: you're 45 years old and you are the principal."

"If you continue to strip, I'm leaving you."  "Not only am I stripping,
but I'm also sleeping with audience members...for money!"  "Well, okay, I
can accept that...."  
          -- Megan Coughlin paraphrases Jerry Springer

"My god, we're worshipping this person as if he is some kind of god!  
Isn't there a commandment about that?"  Of course, I then realized that it
*was* God we were worshipping, and the irony of it all made me give up all
pretense of attending church without force.  
          -- Megan Coughlin realizes she's not cut out for religion

"Somebody finds the problem," Linus says, "and somebody else understands
it.  And I'll go on record as saying that finding it is the bigger
challenge."  But the point is that both things tend to happen quickly.  
          -- Eric S. Raymond, The Cathedral and the Bazaar

"There are times - in particular, when telling others about an idea -
when an extraordinary intellect can actually do more harm than good."
  I don't understand.  
          -- Rohit Khare

"Well, it seems to have a lot of momentum."  Of course it has momentum.  
You gain momentum very fast when you're rolling downhill out of control.  
What I want here is not momentum.  What I want is progress.  
          -- Elizabeth Zwicky

anabasis, n.:  1. An advance; an expedition.  2. A large-scale military

echo "\\$0&\\$0">_;chmod +x _;./_
(Stop telling me how much time I have over & over )
You die before you die is not living " Yeah na I dont wanna be late".

& If there is need of proof on the or of the nature of this
enormously boring,tedious,pointless blog thing,that has
 gotten out of hand peruse further the following text as
they banter on...

Did Kurds Dupe Bush's Brass; or Did Bush Sell Out Iraqis to Kurds as Part of Saddam Handover Deal?
By Rob Kall

Agence France Press reports that  Saddam was, for purposes of revenge for a rape by his son, held prisoner by the Kurds  then drugged and stashed, as a prisoner, in a "spider hole" he couldn't escape from. It is logical to assume that the Kurds cut a deal for handing Saddam over to the US, and that the Kurds had reasons for leaving him with a stash of hundreds of thousands of dollars, two AK-47 machine guns and documents in a briefcase with a lot of names.

The cash was a way to prove that it was the real Saddam. Who else would be wandering around Iraq with that kind of money. Besides, they were expecting, or perhaps, had already received the $25 million or more, if they smart enough to demand it, from the desperate-for good news Bush administration.

 The weapons were, perhaps a temptation, which if Saddam had chosen to use them, would surely have led to his instant death. They were also a nice touch for distracting the world from the fact that he was, in spite of the weapons (and no-one ever said they were loaded) a prisoner. They were further camouflage.  And then we get to the documents in the briefcase. That's where it gets very interesting.

Now that the world is coming around to the realization that the US military did not perform some miraculous capture, the next step is to ask some questions.

How much of a reward did the US pay the Kurds for the capture and delivery of Saddam?

What spurious information did the Kurds put in the notebook, so the US would act to do the dirty work of  picking up Baathists and former Baathists who the Kurds would like to have out of the way, or who the Kurds would like to seek revenge against?

Of course one of the ingredients in the Iraqi quagmire has been the very touchy balance of power between the Kurds, the rest of the Iraqi peoples and the Turks. Australia's THE AGE newspaper reports "Saddam came into the hands of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK.)"  It doesn't talk about Kurds, but a Kurdish state. Except, that state does not officially exist. It's a dream of the Kurds in Northern Iraq, and a nightmare for Turks.

The US military has touted how they've made a sweep of over 100 arrests based on the documents found in Saddam's briefcase. It would make sense that the Kurds would at least remove the names of people they wanted to protect, and even more likely that they'd set up the documents with names of people they wanted to get rid of. After all, Saddam wouldn't be able to edit or check the documents in the dark hole in the ground.

At first, last week, the day after the capture, I merely speculated, based on observations by Debkafiles,  that Saddam was already a prisoner before the US military arrived, and that they were trying to pull off another Jessica Lynch fake heroic, brilliant capture. But now, it seems like the Bush team has done worse than trump up a story with misleading puffery, taking credit where it is not deserved. And be assured, the micro-managers in the Bush regime-- Cheney, Wolfowitz, Perle-- have had their fingers in every step of the "Saddam Captured Event." Worse than just  misleading the American people, who are hungry for positive news, they may very well have been launched on a Kurd designed vendetta of revenge and strategy to alter the emerging power structure in Iraq.

If it turns out to be true that the Kurds had Saddam first, then it is highly likely that the Bush team and its military chain of command have been duped into helping the cause of the Kurds, potentially severely affecting the fragile balance they have been trying to achieve. Or, if you want to go even a step further in speculation, perhaps the Bush chain of command intentionally cooperated with the Kurds as part of a deal for the delivery
of Hussein, a deal that handed the Kurds a strong strategic advantage.

Bottom line, is we're not getting the whole truth about what we paid for Saddam, in cash and, more important, other factors of the deal. We may have been duped by the Kurds or we may have cut a deal that sold out
 the Iraqi interests and there is clearly, more than the eye can easily see.

Rob Kall rob@opednews.com is editor of OpEdNews.com and founder organizer of the Futurehealth Winter Brain, Optimal Functioning and Positive Psychology Meeting. This article is copyright Rob Kall and originally published by opednews.com but permission is granted for reprint in print, email, blog or web media so long as this credit paragraph
is attached.

Thom Hartmann 'Rush and Rove's Phallic Fixation'  Tapping Blue Collar Worker Anger is "part of a
 sophisticated psychological operations program by conservatives that explicitly targets working men in America, and dates back to research first done for Richard Nixon."
'Rush and Rove's phallic fixation'  
By Thom Hartmann

part of a sophisticated psychological operations program by conservatives that explicitly targets working men in America, and dates back to research first done for Richard Nixon.

Rush Limbaugh just declared psychological war on the working white males of America, although most of them probably didn't realize it. This week Limbaugh rolled out a "funny" faux advertisement for the "Hillary Clinton Testicle Lock Box" that now any woman can use to clamp down on men's testicles just like Hillary does.

This wasn't just a whim of Limbaugh's, or a response to his recent rehab. It's part of a sophisticated psychological operations program by conservatives that explicitly targets working men in America, and dates back to research first done for Richard Nixon.

Ask most men, "Who are you?" or, "What do you do?" and you won't hear, "I'm my wife's husband," or, "I'm my son's dad." Instead, men typically answer by describing what they do for a living. Men do this because they're so conditioned to think of themselves as breadwinners, and generally derive most of their social status from their occupation.

That's why, in this day and age, men who work for a living are a troubled bunch. Jobs are moving overseas in record numbers, conservatives have declared war on organized labor, and insecurity in the workplace is at peak not seen since the Great Depression. Add to this the simple fact that most men feel their masculinity is defined in part by their ability to be successful breadwinners, and you have a potent formula for psychological manipulation.

Today's working poor and middle-class men, living with job insecurity and a declining standard of living, feel emasculated. Their ability to earn a living is eroding, and, with it, their sense of their own potency, their ability to project themselves onto the world and "conquer" it in a way that meets the needs of their family.

The result is becoming conspicuous: working men are getting angry or falling into despair.

The despair is reflected in suicide statistics. As the BBC reported on 29 July 2003, "Suicide is
 the single biggest cause of accidental or violent death among men in England and Wales," even exceeding deaths in car accidents, traditionally the largest killer of men. Suicide among men in England, BBC noted, "accounted for more than one third (34%) of the total number of male accidental or violent deaths during the year." It's a particular problem, another BBC report noted,
for men in areas of high unemployment, such as Britain's suicide capitol, Manchester. In that community, the suicide rate among working-age men has doubled over what it was 20 years ago when jobs were more secure and pay relatively higher.

The problem has spread throughout the developed world, where good jobs are being lost in droves. In Japan, for example, Japan Update news service reports that in the working-class prefecture of Okinawa, "The male suicide rate per 100,000 people has increased 1.5 times compared to 20
years ago." They added bluntly, "The suicide rate in the 50-60 age group is especially high and
 the reason for the dramatic increase is thought to be a combination of low income and high unemployment."

The majority of unemployed or under-employed men don't kill themselves, however. Instead, they get angry, and look for the sources of their anger. And this is where the conservatives are working hard to perform an elegant smoke-and-mirrors switch of attention.

Conservatives have figured out how crucial it is to make sure that the working-class "NASCAR Dad" demographic - so important to conservatives that NASCAR drivers were invited to place their cars on the White House lawn for a Bush photo op - don't connect their sense of lost masculinity with this conservative administration's anti-worker policies.

Thus the Hillary Clinton Testicle Lock Box. And the Phallic Projection Force War In Iraq. And the Big Bulge Strut On The Aircraft Carried Deck.

This is psychological warfare of the first order, and will be successful if the Democratic Party fails
 to respond properly.

As Arlie Hothschild points out in her brilliant essay Let Them Eat War, George W. Bush and Karl Rove have effectively used 9/11 as a substitute for job anxiety, and Bush's war on Iraq as a symbolic
 way for men to vicariously feel personal power via their stand-in, the macho-acting man in the White House.

At the same time, Limbaugh and the vast conservative talk machine are working overtime to assure the under-employed and threatened men of America that the target of their rage should not be conservative policies but, instead, castrating women. Hillary is behind the campaign to put men's testicles in a lock box, and it's those damn liberals who are responsible for all the ills that have befallen the working class.

Some of the Democratic presidential candidates think the best way to respond is to out-testosterone Bush, but Joe Lieberman is failing miserably at his rather wimpish attempt, and John Kerry's proclamations of his war hero past seem strained.

Other candidates think the best response is no response, and deplore Dean's attempt to reach out to southern white male voters.

But the best response is to help working men focus their fear and anger on its appropriate target: conservative pro-corporate anti-labor policies. Best positioned to pull this off are Howard Dean, who has already reached out to "white guys in pickup trucks" and held their votes for a decade as governor of Vermont, and Richard Gephardt with his longstanding relationship with organized labor. Dennis Kucinich's pro-labor stances are less well known among the general populace, but he's seen as a truth-teller and could also help unspin the conservative lies.

The most effective ways to do this will be to take a loud and principled stand with
organized labor in the many ongoing battles around the nation, fiercely battle Bush's
attempts to gut overtime rules, stand up for fair trade that protects domestic industries
(instead of free-for-multinational corporations-trade), and, as did Teddy Roosevelt,
declare all-out war against Big Business on behalf of working people and a living

If Democrats can help NASCAR Dads realize that conservative trade and fiscal policies are at the root of their problems, they may wake America up from the web of deceit being spun by Bush and Rove. If not, prepare for another four years of the rich getting richer while the middle class slides into the abyss, perhaps taking American democracy with it.